Why Do I Want Him Still?
by Halawen
Summary: Fuming over Drew's dirty politics Clare finds Fitz in trouble and comes to his aid. How will the elections turn out? Can Clare really save Fitz or will he drag her down? Is she truly done with Eli for good? With Clare/Drew, Clare/Adam, Clare/Owen and Clare/Dallas friendships.
1. Started Down a Dirty Road

**ATTENTION: Supernatural High is on hold indefinitely. I've never done so before, I hate putting stories on hold, but my heart just isn't in it anymore. It was taking a long time to write a single chapter and that was holding up all the other chapters.**

 **Now then welcome to this new short story!**

 **Legal: I own nothing but the idea.**

 **Important things to know before reading:**

 ***Begins with elections for senior class president in Clare's junior year.**

 ***Fitz served his time in juvie and was released, he did cyberstalk Clare, and try to warn her about Eli.**

 ***After Eli's crash Fitz backed off, he still works at The Dot, but no one seems him that much aside from The Dot.**

 ***Everything else you need to know is in the story, so enjoy!**

 **Ch.1 Started Down a Dirty Road**

 **(CLARE)**

"Stupid braindead jock!" I grumble as I storm out of Adam's house. "Drew doesn't know anything, there's no way he can run the school next year," I mumble to myself.

Drew had gone against code and thrown a party to get himself elected president next year. So, I showed up to crash it, if he was going to campaign for himself that way then I was going to use his party and campaign myself. When he insulted me and said I was only running because I got dumped, I lost my temper and pushed him. He fell back into a kiddie pool they had stocked with ice and drinks. Then I stormed out, Bianca and Dallas saw, they didn't say anything, I'll assume they are now helping Drew up.

Adam was smart and stayed away from the party, he's out with Maya tonight. The two became close in Whisper Hug, and then after Cam's suicide and Becky spurning Adam they comforted each other. They claim to still be just friends helping each other through hard times, but I expect them to announce that they're dating any day now. I never wanted Adam to be in the middle, but I announced I was running for student body president first.

While I'm stomping my way home, fuming over Drew's idiotic, block-headed stubbornness, and presumptiveness, I hear someone getting beat up in a nearby alley. We're very close to the ravine, I assume it to be kids from the ravine, drunk or high and letting off some steam. I stop at the drugstore and peek around the corner anyway, blame it on my curious journalistic nature.

What I find is not kids letting off steam, but three boys ganging up on Fitz! Two are holding him by the arms while one repeatedly punches Fitz in the stomach! I'd never let anyone get ganged up on, but I know Fitz, not all that well granted. Still, this is not a fair fight, and especially after the night I've had I'm not going to stand for it.

"LET HIM GO YOU BRUTE!" I scream as I whack the one punching Fitz in the back of the head with my purse.

I get him hard enough that he stumbles back dazed. He rubs his head, looks at me, his eyes narrow. Fitz looks up at me, he looks bad, I see a black eye at least. His eyes blink as though he's trying to focus, or perhaps just not believing it's me.

"Fucking bitch, that was stupid," growls the one that I hit. He grabs my arm roughly, and I stomp on his foot with all my weight. He lets go of me and I kick him in the nuts, down he goes.

Fitz uses the distraction to knee one of the ones holding him. Then Fitz kicks him again, in the face this time and the boy goes unconscious. The third one looks at his friends on the ground, then me and then Fitz.

"We're leaving, try and follow us and I call the cops. My friend's dad is a cop I'm sure he can be here in a couple of minutes," I threaten.

Fitz straightens up, puts his hand at my back and we walk out of the alley. He walks straight and tall past a couple of houses, and then he slumps and leans heavily on me.

"Who were they? What happened?" I question Fitz. We're walking a lot slower now.

"The one hitting me is my stepbrother Steve, pissed because he thinks I took his stash. I never touch the stuff, I bet his dad took it. Steve's been trying to get to me for days, I've spent the last few nights at the ravine."

"You're coming home with me, you can sleep there tonight," I assert.

"Why do you even care?"

"What do you mean why do I care? I wouldn't let anyone get beat up like that, especially someone I know. You seem to be hurt pretty bad, I'm not letting you stay in the ravine tonight, we need to see how badly you're hurt. Someone should keep an eye on you tonight anyway. Seeing as that was your stepbrother I'm not letting you go home."

"Sheesh, I didn't know you were so bossy. Or such a fighter, you got Steve pretty good, remind me never to piss you off," Fitz says. He's kind of half joking, it makes me smile, and then Fitz starts coughing. He stops leaning on me as he hunches over to cough, leaning on my neighbor's fence instead.

"My house is close, I need to get you inside and see how bad your injuries are," I insist as I put his arm around my shoulders again.

"What about your mom? I don't think she'll be too pleased about you bringing a thug home," Fitz comments.

"You're not a thug Fitz. My parents should be in bed by now, Jake is probably in his room. We just need to worry about getting you up the stairs to my room without my mom seeing you. My stepdad won't care I'm sure."

"Your stepdad doesn't care what you do?"

"Glen's a good guy, I think he just doesn't feel like he should discipline me or really get involved. He's also far more laid back than my mom."

"That's cool," Fitz remarks just as we start up the driveway to my house.

The porch light is on, the curtains are closed, it looks like the kitchen light is on which is a good sign that everyone else is upstairs. When we get up the front steps I have Fitz lean against the railing while I unlock the door. After stepping in and peeking around to be certain no one is downstairs I bring Fitz in and lock the door behind us. I put his arm around my shoulders again, and we start up the stairs slowly and quietly. The stairs creak a couple of times, but we manage to make it to my room without my parents or Jake coming out of theirs. I close and lock my door as soon as we're in my room, helping Fitz to my bed. He groans as he sits down, I know he's in a lot of pain and I worry how bad his injuries are. Repeated hits to the stomach can cause a lot of hidden injuries.

"I'm going to get some ice and basic first aid. Stay here but take off your shirt so I can see how bad it is," I order Fitz.

"I'm fine," he responds. I put music on to stifle the sound of his deep voice through the walls.

"No, you're not, now take off your shirt," I demand again sitting near him on the bed.

I grip his hoodie ready to take it off over his head, Fitz leans forward and couples his lips with mine! Pulling in a shocked breath, everything freezes for a second. Then I begin to relax into the kiss and the feel of his lips. His kiss is passionate and tender, his lips are strong yet soft. I release a breath against his lips, parting my lips slightly. Maybe it's all the emotions from the night, or the craziness of the last few weeks, but I find myself titillated by the sensuous kiss. His lips start to part ever so slightly, I feel his tongue just starting to probe between his lips, and my logical self takes over breaking the kiss.

"I'll be right back, take that shirt off and don't go anywhere," I order again.

Getting up from my bed quickly, so he doesn't have a chance to stop me I quickly leave my room. I close my door most of the way as I step out to the hall. Just as I'm about to go into the washroom Jake comes out of his room.

"How was the party?" Jake asks.

"You were right, I shouldn't have gone. Drew said something stupid and insulting, I pushed him into a kiddie pool full of drinks and stormed out. Tomorrow will be interesting," I sigh.

"I doubt Drew will give you any more problems," Jake tries to assure me.

"I know, but everyone saw me push him, I don't know how many heard what he said. It could work in my favor or against me."

Jake pats my shoulder as his brotherly gesture, he goes into the washroom before I can get in however. I glance into my room, but Fitz is out of sight, he better just be hiding and not have slipped out the window. I go downstairs grabbing a couple ice packs, when I return upstairs Jake is out of the washroom. I get the anti-inflammatory cream and a couple of hand towels for the ice packs. Grabbing the first-aid basket just to be safe, though I don't think he has any cuts, just bruises. Returning to my room, I find the door closed, but when I open it I don't see Fitz anywhere.

"Fitz?" I call quietly after closing the door behind me.

He steps out of the closet giving me a sly grin, then lies on my bed with his arms behind his head. At some point he took his boots off, either he put them in my closet or under my bed because I don't see them anywhere. In this position I can see his whole torso which is quite pleasing, and I find myself a little excited by the sight. At the same time, I'm slightly horrified at the number of bruises on his torso.

"Oh, Fitz," I gasp sitting next to him on the bed.

"I'm okay," he says with an aloof tone, "a lot of them are older ones. Mostly from Steve, a few from my stepdad, a couple from fights."

"That's really not that comforting, repeated blows to the stomach can be very dangerous. That's where your internal organs are after all. Lie still, you need to keep these ice packs on for twenty minutes," I tell him wrapping the first ice pack and placing it on his stomach.

"Ah," he hisses, "that's cold! What am I supposed to do while I lie here for twenty minutes?"

"Play games on your phone," I shrug setting the other ice pack on him.

"My phone is a piece of crap, a burner it doesn't really have games. We could go back to kissing, I'll do that for twenty minutes," he grins wriggling his eyebrows at me.

"I don't think so, how about we talk?"

"I'd rather kiss, but fine we'll talk. You broke up with Eli, so why won't you kiss me?"

"Fitz, I'm not going to kiss you while you're resting and supposed to be lying still. It has nothing to do with me no longer being with Eli."

"When I'm done with the ice you'll kiss me?"

"Lie still," I demand ignoring his question. "Why would you stay in the ravine? Don't you have friends you can stay with?"

"Bianca's got problems of her own. I've never even been to Owen's house, besides he's all busy and super chummy with his new Ice Hounds pals. I'm better off at the ravine than Bruce's or Chloe's. Johnny lives in a dorm room now, can't really stay with him. I crash at Lucas' on occasion, but I never feel quite right sleeping in Jane's room."

"Why not move out then? Go to the authorities about your parents?"

"I've tried that before, it never really works out. I don't make that much at The Dot, I'm trying to save up, but I have to hide the money where Steve won't find it. The best I could do now is a crappy studio in a bad part of town. Even then I'd barely be able to pay the bills. I've got some money saved, unfortunately my car takes a lot of money, seems like something on it is always breaking. I'm not in school so I won't get any money from the government."

"At least, you have your own car, I have to borrow Jake's truck."

 **(FITZ)**

Clare talks to me the whole time I've got the ice on. When it's time for the ice to come off she gives me this cream stuff, and tells me to rub it all over the bruises, she says it will help. While I'm doing that she takes the ice back downstairs and puts it in the freezer. When she returns she has an arm full of blankets which she puts on the end of her bed.

"You'll have to sleep on my floor. My parents will freak if they find you sleeping on the sofa in the morning."

"I could just sleep in the bed with you," I suggest.

"Not happening. There's a camping mat in the garage or I can get the extra comforter in the closet? If the comforter is folded two or three times it should be pretty comfortable."

"The comforter is fine," I shrug.

Clare steps out to the hallway again, then reappears a few second later holding a large fluffy comforter. It looks kind of old and has flowers all over it, but I'm not going to be wearing the thing just sleeping on it. I get off the bed and help Clare spread the comforter onto the floor. She gives me a pillow from her bed and then puts the blankets over it all.

"I'm going to brush my teeth, if you want to brush yours we have some extra toothbrushes," Clare offers.

"Nah, if I sneak out to the hallway someone might see me," I shake my head.

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes. Make yourself comfortable, in your bed Fitz not mine," she stipulates while she gets pajamas from her dresser. "If you're bored you can borrow one of my books," she comments before going through her door again.

She closes the bedroom door behind her, I hear the washroom door open and close again. I take off my jeans and get in the bed, I have no interest in reading a book, so I just look around her room. She's got a lot of posters up, three of them have quotes on them from writers or about writing. There's a lot of photos too, and what looks like things she cut out of magazines. Then there's some random things; a fake rose, a napkin from some hotel, a few postcards, a bunch of random pins stuck into a bandana that's hung on the wall. I'm still looking at the stuff on her wall when Clare comes back in the room.

"You need anything?" Clare questions.

"Beer or something harder," I reply. Clare twists her mouth at me. "Water then? I actually am thirsty."

Now she smiles and disappears through the door again, she returns with a glass of water for me, and a full reusable bottle for herself. She hands me the water, I take a few gulps while she turns off the light and gets into bed. She still has the music on, but she's turned it down a little. Other than that the room is pretty silent, I close my eyes and try to sleep, I'm not that tried although getting beat up was a little exhausting. After a few moments I hear Clare rollover, then a few minutes later she rolls over again.

"Worried about tomorrow?" I question.

"No, not really. My outburst and Drew's party could work in my favor or against me. Drew's an idiot, but he's pretty popular and he was a big sports star. I don't think most of the kids vote based on the issues anyway."

"Don't worry you're smart, even if Drew is elected president I'm sure you'll find a way to do things the you want to do."

"Thanks Fitz," she says and I can hear the smile on her lips. In the dim light I see her rolling on her side again, this time she looks at me.

"Well, it's true. So, if you're not worried about tomorrow why can't you sleep?"

"It happens a lot, I can't turn off my mind and then I can't sleep," she replies.

"Must be a smart people problem, my mind goes blank pretty easily. So, you hear from your sister much?" I ask hoping to distract her.

"Not really, she emails every so often, she can't really call she's too far. I was e-mailing her a lot in the beginning, but she would only e-mail back every couple of months or so. I started to only e-mail her for the big things, and then just kind of stopped, Mom e-mails her every few months to catch her up on things. I'm not even sure what she puts in the e-mails, but I don't think she puts in anything bad, I think she just tells Darcy the good things. I know Darcy knows about the divorce and Dad's affair. Of course Darcy knows about Mom and Glen's wedding. She knows about Eli's first breakdown and the car crash, but I don't even know if Mom told her about this most recent breakup with Eli. She's been gone so long, and out of communication so long that in a lot of ways I don't even miss her presence from my life. She's really been gone for every big event in my life, good and bad. Not that we ever had that much in common, and by the time I was interested in boys or doing anything that I could use her advice on she was already gone."

"Sorry, that sucks. That must be hard," I comment.

"It was at first, when I was starting like boys, my very first relationship, I could have used my sister's advice. In a lot of ways Alli has filled that role. Jane, Mia, even Holly J have over the years. Jake and I dated, so I don't really go to him for advice on dating or boys, but he's a good brother. In some ways he did fill the void that Darcy left."

"That's good, Steve was never any kind of brother, so I've never known what having a brother was like. Or a family really, if I hadn't spent so much time at Johnny's house I'm not sure I'd know what a good family is even like."

"What about your mom?" Clare asks quietly.

"She chose my stepdad over me. She works, she drinks, she takes his abuse, she lets him and Steve abuse me. I probably shoulda gone to the authorities when she was first with my stepdad, when it all began. I was only seven though, and I wanted to stay and protect my mom. By the time I realized she chose this path just to not be alone and I couldn't do anything it was too late. I met Johnny at the ravine when I was twelve, I had just found the ravine really. After he realized I was sleeping in the ravine he brought me to his place. It was a small house like mine, not far from mine, he even shared a room with his brother like Steve and I did. It was just them and their dad, but there wasn't fighting or beating or putting each other down. It was the first time I'd really ever seen that."

"It's good that you had Johnny's friendship, is that when you became part of his gang?"

"Yeah, I became friends with Lucas and Bruce, and later with Owen and Bianca because they hung out at the ravine. Bianca's aunt kinda sucks though and Owen never talked about his family."

"Probably because Owen was dealing with Tris coming out. At least, I hope so, it's the only explanation I have for his treatment of Riley, Zane and Adam last year."

"Riley and Zane probably, but Adam was different. None of us understood about Adam last year, just seemed like a freak and Bianca was all pissed and offended that Adam had hit on her. She told Owen and me to take care of it, we thought we were being good friends and it got out of hand. I still don't really understand what Adam is, I don't get the whole being born one way and knowing it's wrong. But, I know who Adam is now and he's a good guy, I have nothing against him. I've apologized for last year, we all have."

"I know, Adam told me. I don't understand his situation either, but he's one of my best friends. I don't understand what he's going through, but I know he's extremely brave for being who is."

"Yeah, it's gotta be tough," I reply yawning at the end. It's been a long day for me, and the beating didn't exactly help.

"Goodnight Fitz," Clare yawns.

"Night Clare."

I fall asleep quickly and sleep well all night, woken when Clare's alarm goes off. She yawns, stretches, turns her alarm off, yawns again and rolls to her side to look at me.

"I'm going to use the washroom and I'll see if my parents are still here. You should stay here for the day and rest. Once Jake and I go to school no one will be home until at least five," Clare says.

She sits up and puts her robe on. I get up slowly, everywhere I got hit yesterday is sore and moving hurts. I stand up and grab Clare's hand just before she reaches the bedroom door. I'm taking a chance that she won't pull away again, but I'm not missing an opportunity to kiss Clare. Putting my arm around her lower back I bring her to me, crushing my lips to hers and to my delight she responds. Her lips part, her fingers drag down my chest a little. My tongue slips between my lips and then between hers, caressing her tongue softly and I feel her body quiver just a bit. As much as I'd like to keep kissing her all morning I'm sure her stepbrother will come knocking soon, so after a moment I pull away. Then I step back and open the bedroom door for her.

When she's in the washroom I get dressed, I have no intentions of staying here for the day. I look out her bedroom window and see a way down, I'm gone before she gets back from the washroom. I have to be at work at noon anyway, and so I go to The Dot, Spin is here already, in the office doing paperwork.

"You look like hell," Spin comments.

"Feel like it too, had a run in with Steve and a couple of his buddies last night," I tell him.

"You want to take the day off?"

"No just rest until shift, mind if I lie down in the club until it's time for me to clock in?"

"No, go ahead. Take some breakfast with you, you should eat something," Spin tells me.

"Thanks Spin," I smile. I grab the keys to The Dot, get some coffee and a donut then go upstairs. I get some ice from the freezer up here and wrap it in a paper towel. Lying on one of the sofas I get the ice on the places it hurts the most and start eating breakfast while thinking about kissing Clare.

 **(CLARE)**

I leave the washroom and Jake goes in. I don't hear anyone downstairs, but I go down anyway with the excuse of getting coffee. Mom and Glen are both gone, I get some coffee anyway and take it up to my room for Fitz. Only, when I get upstairs he's gone. I set the coffee down and check the closet and under my bed, but he's really gone. All his clothes and everything are gone. I find that I'm disappointed that he's not here.

I lick my lips inadvertently, while the kisses I shared with Fitz last night and this morning drift through my mind. I don't realize I'm standing staring at my room until Jake's voice behind me startles me.

"Clare, we have to get to school."

"Sorry, I'll be ready in a few minutes."

"Hey, don't worry it will be fine today," Jake assures me.

"Yeah, I know," I smile at my stepbrother.

I close my bedroom door and start getting dressed. I drink the coffee as I'm getting ready for school, and I'm ready by the time Jake is done with breakfast. I'm not hungry, so I just don't eat, I'm a little nervous for the elections this morning, mostly I'm thinking about Fitz. People can vote until the end of third period through the school website and their school ID. I vote for myself and walk to homeroom.

"I'm not voting, I can't," Adam comments when I get into class.

"That's okay Adam, I understand. I should probably find Drew and apologize for last night," I remark.

"Nah, from what I heard he deserved it. Drew sometimes needs to be told to stop, or smacked upside the head," Adam says.

"That's true, Drew definitely needs to be controlled," I reply with a smile.

"You okay? You're not worried about the elections are you?" Adam asks.

"Hmm? No, just something on my mind, it was a…strange night."

Adam knows I don't want to talk about it, so he just nods.

"I voted for you Clare," Connor says when he comes into class.

"Thanks Connor."

"And, I hear Eli's looking for you," Connor informs me. I look at Adam, but he shakes his head.

"I haven't heard anything, if he's looking to get back together he's keeping it from me."

"I don't think I can deal with Eli today," I huff.

Class starts, but I'm really not paying attention between Fitz and knowing Eli wants to talk to me my mind is too preoccupied, I'm not even thinking about the elections. To be sure that I'm hiding out from Eli I eat lunch on the roof. It's almost peaceful up here, but it gives me time to think. As I no longer have co-op my last two periods I'm doing independent study, mostly I'm getting a jump start on next year. When the bell rings I go out to the foyer awaiting the election results. Drew's out here too, waiting with Dallas and Bianca. When he sees me he says something to them and comes over to me.

"I'm sorry about last night Drew, I was angry, but pushing you into the pool was childish."

"No, I should be apologizing, not you. I was being an idiot, I don't always know when to shut my mouth, actually I usually don't. I was thinking, if I win I want you to be my Veep," Drew says.

"It's V.P. Drew.

"You're smart and you know all this stuff. You could help keep me in line. I think we'd make a good team. If you win maybe I can be your Veep," Drew says hopefully.

"It's V.P. Drew, and I'll think about it."

Drew grins and goes back to Dallas and Bianca. I see Adam waiting down the hall, waiting to congratulate me or his brother. Principal Simpson comes over the intercom and announces Drew as next year's student body president. People cheer, Bianca kisses him, Dallas slaps his back as he congratulates him. Many of the other Ice Hounds including Owen come over to congratulate Drew.

"Sorry Clare, I voted for you," Alli says coming over, "Drew will probably ruin the school."

"I don't think he'll have that much power Alli."

"Yeah, well he's coming this way, probably to rub it in your face. You want me to stay?" Alli offers.

"No, I'll be okay," I assure my friend.

"You shouldn't have won Drew, you have no idea what to do," Alli comments.

"I know, that's why I asked Clare to be my Veep," Drew informs her.

"You mean V.P. but that's good, you'll definitely need her. Well, I'm going to go find Jenna," Alli remarks excusing herself.

"So? How about it Clare, will you be my Veep?"

"V.P. Drew," I say with an exasperated huff.

"I know how you say it, I just like saying it that way. So will y…"

"Clare," Eli calls cutting off Drew, "Clare we need to talk."

Drew starts to walk off, but I grab his arm. "Not now Eli, I have a school to Veep," I reply firmly.

"You'll do it then?" Drew asks.

"Yeah, come on we have a lot to talk about," I reply pulling Drew away.

Drew doesn't say anything, but he follows me out of school, I let go of his arm when we're on the steps. We walk to The Dot in silence, at least Drew is smart enough to know not to talk right now. When we get to The Dot Fitz is working, and I bite my lip upon seeing him.

"You want something?" Drew asks.

"Uh yeah, mocha, room for sugar and cream," I comment opening my purse to get out my wallet.

"No it's on me, find us a table," Drew tells me.

I smile at him and sit down at a table, at first I'm facing Fitz, but when he keeps glancing at me, and I keep glancing at him I move. I sit with my back to Fitz, so I'll stop glancing at him, though I can still feel him glancing at me.

"You okay? I hope you're not upset over the election, I bet it was really close, it's just I had the votes from a lot of the sports teams," Drew says sitting down and setting my coffee down.

"No, sorry it's not that, just things on my mind. Thanks for the coffee," I reply before taking a sip of my coffee.

"Welcome, things like Eli on your mind?" Drew inquires.

"No, not Eli, I don't want to talk to him. Let's talk about next year, we have to pick the rest of the senior student council. Of course, grade reps will be voted on at the beginning of next year."

"I was thinking Dallas as sports rep, and Adam as one of the social chairs," Drew says.

"Works for me, Adam will be a good social chair, Alli should be the second social chair," I comment and Drew nods. "How about Jenna as secretary and Connor as treasurer?"

"Yeah, those are all good. Don't think any of them will turn us down," Drew remarks. We spend about half an hour discussing things as we drink our coffee. Every so often I feel Fitz looking at me, and I refuse to look back at him. "You want a lift home?" Drew asks when we're done.

"No, that's okay I can walk. I'll see you Monday Drew," I wave as we leave the café.

I walk home and Jake is already here, getting a snack from the kitchen of course. He says he's sorry about the elections, I tell him about being V.P., and I don't think working with Drew will be too bad. I go up to my room and study for finals until Mom calls me down to dinner. Over dinner I tell her and Glen about Drew asking me to be his V.P. after he won the election. Jake and I have to do the dishes after dinner, then he sits down to watch TV. I return to my room and close the door without flipping on the light. I start to turn on the light when I'm grabbed and pushed against the door gently. I gasp and get ready to scream, until lips are smashed to mine!

 **Hope you enjoyed the first chapter, update soon picking up from right here! Next story to be updated is** _ **"The Way She Smiles When She Sees Me".**_


	2. I Feel Your Taste All the Time We're

**Short stories are supposed to have two chapters at a time, unless I say otherwise. When I forget to post two at a time feel free to remind me.**

 **Ch. 2 I Feel Your Taste All the Time We're Apart**

Clare starts to kiss me back, easing into it slowly. First her lips begin to move with mine, she exhales the breath she was holding. As her body relaxes her arms go around my neck, I slip my arm around her lower back and press her to me. She stands on her tiptoes deepening the kiss just a little. I wait a moment before sliding my tongue along her lower lip prompting her lips to open for me. Just as her lips begin to part we both hear heavy steps in the hall. Clare goes tense again, pushing me away and reaching behind her back to lock her door. Clare holds her finger to her lips before putting on some music.

"Why didn't you stay here all day?" She asks in a whisper.

"I had to work," I shrug.

She takes my hand and pulls me to sit next to her on the bed, "But, you're hurt."

"I'm fine, I've had worse. Seems like the election turned out okay, at least you were in The Dot with Drew earlier," I comment. I keep my voice down, but I'm not whispering, I heard Jake go in his room and turn on his own music.

"Drew won, but he asked me to be his vice president. I think we'll make a good team, and we appointed our friends to the other positions. Eli wanted to talk though," she huffs and I instantly get tense.

"About what?" I ask through clenched teeth.

"I don't know; I didn't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk about him either, let me see your bruises," she insists tugging at my shirt.

"If you wanted my shirt off that badly all you had to do was ask," I reply with a snarky grin as I take my shirt off.

"You were badly hurt yesterday; you shouldn't have been working or climbing in and out of my window," she comments and then twists her mouth when she sees my torso covered in bruises.

"I told you, I'm fine," I reply leaning in to kiss her again.

"Stay here while I get some ice," she asserts trying to stand up but I grab her hand.

"What would really make me feel better is kissing you," I tell her. Before she can argue stubbornly again I comb my fingers into her hair and crush my lips to hers.

She gives in, relaxing into the kiss, she even parts her lips. I smile against her lips, leaning her back to lie on the bed. I lie over her, leaning on one arm to keep my weight off her. Caressing her skin with my free hand, slowly working my fingers to the edge of her clothes. I've just about got my fingertips under her shirt, I need to adjust my position, but when I do it hurts. I groan from aggravating the bruise and Clare instantly breaks the kiss.

"You're still hurt; we shouldn't be doing this. Stay here while I get you some ice and more cream," she insists.

"Why don't you just kiss them better?" I respond lying back on her bed with my arms behind me.

"Just stay here and stay quiet," Clare replies firmly and gets up.

I wait until she's out the door and get my shirt back on. I'm not staying here and sleeping on the floor again. I'm out her window before I even hear her coming back up the stairs. I head to the ravine, the fire is going and I take a beer sitting by the fire. I drink a few beers, talking with the other kids at the ravine. At some point Naomi comes and sits by me, talking about something, but I'm not really paying attention. Even when I start talking with Billy she doesn't leave, she does fall asleep on my shoulder though. I fall asleep where I'm sitting, and I wake up with the sun. Naomi is still passed out on me, I move her off me to get up, grab my backpack and sneak into the school. I can shower here in the locker room, it's better than going home.

I don't have work today, but I do need to eat. I go over early, technically before we even open. Alice is here to open, she doesn't see me though, I go in through the back and get a couple muffins from the kitchen. I return to the ravine where Naomi is still asleep, I sit on the other side of the fire, sipping another beer and eating the muffins.

"No work today?" Bruce asks sitting next to me. He just emerged from the van, he must have slept in there. I hate sleeping in the van, somehow it feels dirtier than sleeping by the fire.

"Nope, but I open tomorrow, and I'm not going home," I reply.

Bruce doesn't say anything else, and we sit there drinking and stoking the fire every so often. It's a Saturday so a lot of the kids sleep in, by noon most of the kids have awoken and gone home, or at least somewhere else. Only a few of us hang out at the ravine all day.

By late afternoon I'm getting tired of sitting, and I'm getting hungry again. I grab my backpack and walk through the ravine a ways before turning into an alley. There's a burrito place I know of that's cheap and you get a lot of food, so it should hold me for the rest of the day. I get a big burrito with chips and a drink, I eat there and then start walking back to the ravine, I'll just sleep there tonight.

"Hey Fitzy-Boy," I hear the whiny call of my stepbrother as I pass an alley.

"Well crap," I exclaim as I freeze for just a second. I'm about halfway back to the ravine, not close enough for anyone I know to be nearby.

"You still owe me, I want my stash," Steve growls. I take off running, I heard other voices, I know he's not alone, and I'm not stupid. "Get him, beat him until he gives it up or pays me back," Steve orders.

I just hope I make it to the ravine, or even the school, before they get me. I know how to get into the school through the broken door. Steve doesn't and I bet his friends don't. even if they do, the school is pretty big, pretty sure I can hide. There's at least four of them, maybe five, hard to tell as all I hear behind me is a stampede, and I'm not looking behind me to find out. I'm definitely not stupid enough to try and take them all on by myself. If they do manage to catch me I doubt I'll be lucky enough to have Clare save me again.

 **(CLARE)**

I return to my room with ice, and once again Fitz is gone. Vanished through my window without a trace. A small part of me wonders if he was even there, if I imagined the kiss because I wanted it. Given all that's happened these last few months I wouldn't be surprised if I was losing my mind. No, he was here I can still feel his lips on mine, taste a hint of coffee he must have gotten from The Dot.

I look at the ice in my hand and set it on the desk before going to the washroom to shower. Fitz occupies my mind the entire time I'm in the shower. I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that he will sneak into my room and ambush kiss me, but not stick around to let me see his bruises. Was he hiding something else? Did he get hurt again?

"CLARE," Jake yells banging on the door and startling me from my thoughts, "YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOREVER! IT'S MY WASHROOM TOO."

I turn off the water, which I didn't even realize was cold, and step out of the shower. I don't even dry off just wrap up in my bathrobe before opening the door. "Sorry, I was kind of spacing out," I apologize.

Jake gives me an odd look, whether it's for being wet in my bathrobe, or taking so long I'm not sure. I disappear into my room before he can say anything else. I brought my towel into my room, I close the curtains and turn on the light before I start drying off and changing into pajamas. There's this part of me that really wants Fitz to climb in the window again as I'm getting into my pajamas. I even envision him crawling in through the window and pulling me to the bed as his lips abduct mine into another fiery kiss.

He doesn't though, I change into pajamas and return to the washroom when Jake is out. I finish getting ready for bed, but I'm not tired. I stay awake for a long time, mostly watching things on my laptop, in fact I fall asleep to a movie, but my sleep is disrupted by unsettling dreams. Made all the worse by the fact that I have no idea what I was dreaming about when I awaken. I remember nothing from the dream, and thus don't know what's so plaguing my mind. Of course, given the last few days it could be almost anything.

I still feel very tired and like I didn't sleep at all, dragging myself from bed to use the washroom I notice that the house is quiet. I venture downstairs after the washroom, and unless Jake is still sleeping the house is indeed empty. I get some juice and return to my room, I spend a very lazy Saturday mostly reading in bed. I don't even change out of my pajamas until I hear Mom and Glen get home. After getting dressed, brushing my hair, putting on deodorant and otherwise making it look like I didn't just wake up, I go downstairs.

"Oh, I thought you'd be out with friends," Mom comments. She and Glen are unloading groceries.

"I'm tired, felt like staying in today."

"Well, you're on your own for dinner. Glen and I are going out and Jake is with friends," Mom informs me.

"That's fine," I nod before going back to my room.

It takes about an hour for Mom and Glen to leave again. I go downstairs after they're gone, and after looking through the kitchen at possible dinner options I order pizza and garlic bread. Then I turn on the TV and sit on the sofa waiting for dinner to arrive. A few minutes before the pizza is due to get here I hear a loud thud from upstairs. I gasp and then my heart starts to pound, it sounded like it came from my room. Despite Fitz climbing in my window the last couple of days my first thought is that Eli broke in so I would talk to him. Then I realize it's probably Fitz, nevertheless I go to the stairs cautiously and tiptoe up as quietly as I can.

"Fitz?" I call out in a hopeful whisper.

"Yeah, it's me," he says coming to my doorway.

There's no windows in the hallway, if you don't put the light on then there's only light from open bedroom doors and the front entry. Fitz has his head down, but he's holding his stomach. He looks tired, no haggard is a better word, his clothes are awry and he's leaning heavily on the doorjamb.

"No one is home, you should have just come to the door," I scold him.

"I wasn't sure that you were alone or even here," Fitz says. He looks up at me and I see that he has a bruise on his chin, and blood on his lip.

"What happened?" I gasp. Before he can reply the doorbell rings. "That's my dinner, come on you can tell me what happened while we eat," I assert taking his hand. I pull him down the stairs with me, so that he has no choice and he can't go through the window again. I don't care what the pizza delivery person thinks, when we get downstairs I gently push Fitz toward the kitchen and grab my purse by the door. I take the boxes, pay for the food, and lock the front door as soon as the pizza guy has left. "Now, what happened?" I question getting a bag of frozen peas from the freezer. I wrap them in a kitchen towel and give them to Fitz for his eye.

"I ran into Steve again, he and some of his friends. I tried to run," Fitz tells me while I get down two plates and get out two glasses.

"Lemonade okay? Or there's some orange pop that Jake likes," I offer. Fitz is holding the bag of frozen peas to his face and getting out a slice of pizza with the other hand.

"Lemonade is fine," he responds.

I pour us each a glass of lemonade and sit at the table. I get a piece of pizza and a piece of garlic bread for myself. Watching Fitz closely as he slowly nibbles the pizza.

"I think you should go to the hospital," I remark.

"I'm okay, it's just a few bruises," he shrugs.

"That's what you said last time, and this is your second beating in a couple of days."

"I'm okay Clare, the bruises will heal."

"And, until they do you'll be sore and stiff for the next few days. I'm assuming you have work?"

"Yeah, I open tomorrow, but I'll be okay," he insists again.

"At least, let me see how bad it is after we eat, and sleep here tonight. If you even think about going through my window again, I'll call Spin and tell him you can't open tomorrow."

"He'll want to know why you're calling and then he'll probably kill me for being here the other night."

"Which is exactly why you don't want me to call him," I respond and Fitz huffs.

Fitz only eats one slice of pizza, but he gets more ice from the freezer and lays out on the sofa. He lies so that I can't see his torso from where I am, but I do see him putting ice on some of his bruises. I eat my fill and put the rest in the fridge, I know Jake will devour what's left when he gets home. I go to the sofa and sit at the coffee table to see how badly Fitz is hurt this time.

"I still think we should take you to the hospital," I comment. He's got the ice over a bruise, and his shirt and hoodie pulled down. I can still see fresh bruises on top of the ones he got a couple nights ago.

"What for? They won't see me for a couple of bruises."

"Because you've been beaten twice in the last few days and the abdomen is where your internal organs are. What if you're bleeding internally?" I try to plead with him.

"I'm fine, my stomach is sore, but I don't feel sharp pains or anything."

"Let me look, please," I beg. Fitz sighs but takes off his hoodie and t-shirt. He's all shades of black and blue, mostly on his sides, though there are some new ones on his stomach. It looks pretty bad to me, he must have been far outnumbered, I'm surprised he even made it out alive or without more damage to his face. On the possible bright side, the blood on his lip is gone now, it must have been from a cut inside the mouth. Which probably is slightly better than a busted lip. Other than the new bruise on his chin his face seems okay, but his right side and much of his torso look awful. His right side is just various splotches of black, blue and purple. "Oh, Fitz," I exhale gently running my fingers over some of the bruises. I feel his sculpted muscles tighten even more as my fingers brush over them.

"It's not as bad as it looks," he remarks nonchalantly.

"Will you stop trying to sound so tough? It's just the two of us, and I don't like the macho act. You could be seriously hurt, and you're lucky you weren't killed," I snap back with annoyance and frustration laced into my tone.

Fitz looks at me, twists his mouth a bit, looks down and releases a heavy sigh. "When they caught up to me I took a couple of swings, but they got me on the ground pretty quickly. So I curled up into a ball, covered my neck and face with my arms. I think they were all high, they got tired after a while, I did lay there pretending be unconscious until they left."

"Why do you sound so ashamed of doing that?"

"I curled up into a little ball like a coward," he growls back.

"It probably saved your life Fitz, you were smart about it, and outnumbered. What they did was cruel, barbaric and stupid, what you did saved your life," I tell him and he smiles a little. "Can I feel your stomach? I can possibly feel if there's bleeding, if your stomach is distended or something doesn't feel right. Seeing as you won't let me take you to the hospital."

"Okay," Fitz relents.

I don't entirely know what I'm doing, it's not like I've taken medical courses before. I took a first aide course last year, but that didn't teach me to check for internal bleeding. Slowly and carefully as I can I palpate over his stomach and lower chest just under his ribs. He groans a lot, but only when I'm pressing on the bruises, his muscles tighten sometimes, but as far as I can tell he's not bleeding and nothing I touch seems to be particularly sensitive.

"I still think you should go to the hospital because I'm not a doctor, but I don't think you have any internal injuries. It might be good for you to take a warm bath, with Epsom salts and then ice the bad ones again. I doubt you want to take an ice bath," I comment.

"No, an ice bath doesn't sound good, but a warm bath might be nice."

"Grab your clothes, you can put them in my room. I'll start your bath, don't even think about getting undressed until you're in the washroom alone," I warn Fitz.

He smirks at me as he grabs his clothes, he gets off the sofa slowly. As I start ascending the stairs I hear him opening the freezer to put the ice pack back. I start the bath, making sure the water is warm, but not too hot. As the bath fills up I poor in some Epsom salts, we keep them mostly for Jake and Glen, they can be really sore after working a job. Fitz begins coming up the stairs slowly, he pauses in my doorway to toss his shirt and hoodie in. He comes into the washroom just as I'm getting him a clean towel from the linen closet.

"Take your time, Jake won't be back for hours, even my parents shouldn't be back for at least an hour. I'll get a bed set up for you in my room, come straight there when you're done."

 **(FITZ)**

Clare leaves the washroom and I finish getting undressed, it's actually pretty difficult to get my boots, socks, jeans and boxers off. Bending hurts like hell, I bite my tongue so I won't groan in pain. I'm sure if Clare heard me do so she'd come back in the washroom.

It does feel nice to sink down into the warm water though, it's soothing and feels good on my muscles and bruises. I haven't taken a bath since I was a little kid, even when I was on the DeGrassi wrestling team I never took baths. I lean back with my head on the edge of the tub, closing my eyes, problem is when I close my eyes I just see Steve and his friends beating me. I open my eyes again studying the washroom Clare shares with Jake, and wonder how awkward that must be for them. I don't think I stay in all that long, but I get out when I'm both bored and feeling really thirsty after soaking in the hot bath. I pull the stopper so the water will drain, step out onto the bath mat and wrap the towel around my waist. Then I grab my clothes and go back to her room, she has the door closed, but it isn't locked.

"Why aren't you dressed?" She gasps covering her eyes as her cheeks go red.

"Getting undressed sucked, and I'm still wet," I reply setting my clothes down.

"I'll go get you ice while you get dressed again," she says getting up from her bed very quickly.

I get this overwhelming urge to keep her here and kiss her, it's almost like a panic. I grab her hand and pull her to me, wrapping my arm around her lower back as I capture her lips. She doesn't even freeze this time, she responds instantly, putting her arms around my neck, her lips parting just slightly. Maybe she's hot after seeing me dripping wet and in a towel, or she really just wanted to kiss me. Whatever the reason her kiss is full of wanting.

Between the anger and fear from the beating I took earlier, the steamy kiss and feeling her pressed against me I'm getting turned on. I need her, it's my only thought right now, I need her. Moving my arms down I get them under her ass and pick her up. She lets me, she even wraps her legs around my waist, and I don't even care how much pain I'm in from picking her up. I walk to the bed and lie her down, I have no thoughts in my head, I'm just going on impulse and instinct.

When I'm leaning over her on the bed my towel falls away. I know Clare can feel my erection, she holds a breath for just a moment, but she doesn't pull out of the kiss. I lie on my side next to her, my tongue probing her mouth, my hand lifting her shirt. She releases that breath she was holding, trembling slightly. I feel her getting nervous, her stomach tightening, her arms begin to slip from around my neck. She's going to pull away and I don't want her to, I need her.

I caress the skin on her belly gently, my fingertips just barely grazing over her skin. Moving slightly so that I'm between her legs, pressing into her crotch just a little. Her hands grip my shoulders, she's not quite pulling away, but she's not kissing me back as much as she was either. She grips my shoulders, she's almost frozen, though she is still responding to the kiss a little. I move my hand up, feeling the edge of her bra, about to get my hand under and she pulls away.

"I need to get you some ice," she insists but her voice is weak.

"I need you," I respond firmly, my voice husky with lust now.

"Fi…" she begins but I crush my lips to hers before she can get my name out.

I kiss her hard, open my eyes to watch her, she's got her eyes closed, but after a moment she stops resisting. She parts her lips more; her hands move from my shoulders to my arms. She's nervous still, but at the same time she's kind of eager. When I press into her crotch a bit she lets out the tiniest of moans and her hips jolt. She's nervous, but she's horny, I'm sure of it. I remove my hand from her shirt and she lets out a breath. She seizes another breath in her throat as I get my hand under the waistband of her sweats.

I don't go very slow, I want to know for sure that she's horny and my hand goes down between her legs. She's wet, her panties are starting to soak through and I grin into the kiss. As soon as she feels my hand on her pussy lips, even through her panties, she pulls out of the kiss.

"Fitz," she sort of squeaks as I move her panties to one side.

"You're wet, you want this too," I reply in a lusty whisper before placing my lips on her neck.

"I…I d…" she stutters on a shaky breath. She sounds nervous, but not afraid.

"I'll be gentle," I whisper against her skin. I've moved her panties aside, I wriggle a finger in, she gasps, her body jolting slightly and then quivering.

I don't want to give her time to think or argue, but I need to get her pants off. I adjust a little, capture her lips into a kiss again, and get out from between her legs. Going onto my knees I tug her sweats and panties down to her knees. She goes tense again, but when I begin massaging her clit she relaxes and quivers once more. I turn my hand, so my palm is on her clit, worming a finger into her tight hole, she moans, but she also tenses up. I'm afraid she's going to stop me, so I decide to do this a different way.

I kiss down from her jaw, to her neck, then move down and pull her shirt up to kiss along her belly. She likes this, I can tell because she relaxes and moans a little. I continue placing soft kisses on her skin, working my way down to her pussy. The closer I get to her pussy the more I smell her, the more I hunger for her. When I get to her clit I flick it with my tongue. Clare moans loudly and her entire body trembles, then her back arches and she grips the blanket beneath her.

With her back still arched I glide my tongue into her wet, warm, welcoming pussy. Clare exhales with my name dropping from her lips at the end. She tastes heavenly, sweet like honey. My tongue happily and hungrily licks around her core, drinking in her juices. I'm so horny it's becoming painful, I move a little, getting on my knees so I can stroke myself. I don't think Clare is going to take care of me. It doesn't matter, she tastes wonderful and I'm enjoying every moment of my tongue deeply plunged into her hole.

I climax pretty quickly, I was already really horny and stroking myself fast. I cum all over my hand, and her blanket, but I'm relieved after climaxing and I'm still enjoying her taste. Clare is so lost in the pleasure she doesn't seem to be aware of anything other than my tongue inside her, and the ecstasy it's giving her. She's moaning on every breath, every so often my name drops from her lips. It seems like it takes a very long time for her to reach climax, not that I mind, I could eat her out all night. With my name rolling off her tongue in the longest moan I've ever heard she finally reaches orgasm.

I slow my tongue as her orgasm dissipates, when I withdraw my tongue her body lurches. She curls onto her side as I lick my lips tasting the last of her flavor. Clare is panting hard and still curled on her side. I sit up, groaning as the movements hurt my bruises. Now that I'm not horny or tasting Clare I remember just how much I hurt. I look down and see the puddle of my cum on her blanket. I feel kind of bad about it now and decide to clean it up. I move to get up, but I move too fast and it hurts a lot.

"Ughh," I groan sinking back to the bed.

"You're hurt, we shouldn't have done that," Clare says sitting up. She pulls her pants and panties back up, she starts to get up and I grab her hand again.

"That was exactly what I needed, I feel better even if I'm still in pain and you taste amazing," I tell her. I comb my fingers into her hair and gently press my lips to hers. I keep my lips on hers just long enough for her to release a breath.

"I'm going to get you some more ice. Lie down, and get some boxers on," she says. Her cheeks are about six shades of red right now, but she's smiling.

I release her hand as she gets up, when she exits the room I stand up slowly. I do pull on boxers and go into the washroom. After washing my hands, I grab a washcloth from closet, wet it with soap and go back to her room. I'm cleaning the cum from her blanket when she returns to her room.

"Oh, ermm thanks," she says when she sees what I'm doing.

"I didn't want to leave it there."

"You should lie back, and get this ice on," Clare says.

"I'm done anyway, where's your laundry hamper?"

"In the closet," she says. I find her hamper and toss the wet washcloth in the hamper and lie on her bed. "Here, frozen peas on your face, and the big one should be able to cover most of your torso or side. Whichever hurts more," Clare says giving me the ice packs.

Clare sets her laptop on the desk and puts a movie on, then sits on the bed next to me. We watch the movie for a while, she checks her phone every few minutes and takes away the ice packs when it's time.

"My parents will probably be home pretty soon, I can get you a toothbrush," Clare offers.

"No, I got one in my bag," I reply getting up slowly. "It'll be a shame to wash your taste from my mouth though," grin kneeling down by my backpack. I open it and dig around for my toothbrush.

"Fitz," Clare exclaims, "are you living out of your backpack?"

 **Chapter three is up!**


	3. Staring the Nose of the Barrel Down

**Ch. 3 Staring the Nose of the Barrel Down**

 **(FITZ)**

"No, not really, just got enough for a few days. If my car was running, I'd keep my stuff in it. It broke down again though. It's been at the garage for over a week, until I've got enough money to pay for the repair. It's a piece of crap, but I can't afford a new car," I shrug.

"Where have you been sleeping?" Clare asks.

"The ravine last night, here tonight and the night before last."

"I don't think you should be sleeping in the ravine."

"It's fine, I've done it before, lots of kids do."

"Fi…" she begins to argue, so I silence her with a kiss.

"Your parents could be home at any minute, I'm going to go brush my teeth," I remark when I take my lips away. I stand up faster than I should have, but I hold back a groan and walk into the washroom. I brush my teeth quickly and return to Clare's room, she's changed into pajamas.

"I'm going to go get ready for bed, you had better be in here when I get back or I'm calling Spinner. You can get another movie set up on my laptop if you want," she tells me.

She closes her bedroom door as she leaves, I go to her laptop and look through the movies on the streaming service. I almost choose an action movie, but she'd probably hate that, and I don't want to watch drama or romantic anything. I finally decide on a film noir with Bogart, I watched it at Johnny's house once. I move the laptop to the end of her bed, then I lie on her bed, and Clare comes in the room twisting her mouth at me.

"What? I didn't leave," I remark.

"You're not sleeping in my bed," she replies closing and locking the door behind her.

"I wouldn't be able to see your laptop from the floor," I point out.

"Just for the movie," she says coming over to the bed.

"Just for the movie," I nod. I start the movie, she gets on the bed and hands me one of the blankets from my bed. Then she gets under her covers and seems to lie as far away from me as she can on the small bed. "You weren't complaining about being close to me when I had my tongue deep inside you," I remark and watch her cheeks turn several shades of red.

"Watch the movie," she whispers.

I chuckle and look back at the movie, when we hear her parents get home I make sure to be quiet. I hear them come upstairs, Clare pauses the movie and goes to her door, peeking out to greet them, but she has it closed enough so that they can't see me. She has a brief conversation with her mom and then closes and locks the door again. Just before the movie ends Jake gets home, but he doesn't come to her door or anything.

Clare puts on another movie, and she falls asleep before it's over. When the movie ends I shut down her laptop and put it back on her desk. I grab the blanket I was using on her bed and get into my bed. I fall asleep thinking about eating Clare out, tasting her flavor on my tongue again. Unfortunately, I don't dream about eating her out, instead I dream about Steve and his friends finding me and beating me. Only in my dream there's not just five of them, it's more like fifty and most of them are Steve. I try to fight back, but of course it does no good and they just keep beating me. Suddenly, my mom and stepdad are there, but they don't do anything other than watch, and my stepdad is kind of laughing. I wake up with a gasp just before Steve does a final kick to my head in the dream to kill me.

I'm sweating and panting, it's still dark outside and when I look over at Clare she's fast asleep still. Checking my phone, I see that it's 4:30, I'd have to be at work in an hour anyway, so I decide to just get up. I have to bite my tongue to keep from groaning, I'm really stiff after sleeping on the floor all night. I grab my backpack and clothes, tiptoeing out of Clare's room. I get dressed and put on deodorant in the washroom, then tiptoe down the stairs. I leave through the backdoor as I don't have a key to lock the front door. It's a quiet, peaceful walk to The Dot this early, but I'm hurting quite a lot. I arrive at the same time as the bakers and they give me a look for getting here so early.

"Looks like you have more bruises than the other day," Jeff remarks when he sees me.

"I do, I'm okay though just didn't sleep much," I tell them.

The very first thing I do is take some aspirin, then I start opening procedures. I do it really slowly though and take a lot of breaks. As soon as the first batch of pastries is done I snag one. It's a Sunday morning, so it's not very busy. We get very few people in real early, it's just starting to pick up when Spinner comes in.

"Fuck, Steve get you again?" Spinner asks looking at my face.

"Yeah, him and a lot of his friends. I'm okay, I took some aspirin earlier."

"You know you could have called in sick," Spinner remarks tying his apron on.

"Nah, I'm okay a little sore and stiff that's all. Anyway, I'm used to the funny looks from people," I comment just as I see Clare walking up. "I'm gonna go on lunch," I tell Spin.

"Maybe you should sack out upstairs again, at least lie down," Spinner says.

"Yeah, good idea," I nod. I disappear into the back just before Clare comes into the café.

 **(CLARE)**

I wake Sunday morning to the sound of a bird right outside my window. I stretch and yawn, and then realize that it seems very quiet and empty in my room. I look down at Fitz's bed and find it empty, and his backpack is gone. Looking at the time I realize he must have left to go to work, I wonder if he climbed out my window, but I don't think I could have slept through that. Mom and Glen are out already; they were meeting friends for breakfast this morning. Jake is still sound asleep; I can hear him snoring through his door. I get dressed, ready for the day, grab my purse and walk to The Dot. Honestly, I'm hoping to see Fitz, but he vanishes into the back just as I walk into the café.

"Hey Clare," Spinner smiles at me.

"Hi Spin, a cinnamon latte extra sugar and chocolate muffin please," I order.

"You need extra energy or something? That's a lot of sugar," he comments as he rings me up.

"Just feel like something sweet this morning," I reply putting money on the counter.

"Heard from Darcy lately?" Spin asks handing me the muffin on a plate.

"Not for a couple of months," I shake my head.

"Seems like her e-mails are getting fewer and farther between," Spinner comments as he begins making my coffee.

"Yeah, ever since she found out about our parent's divorce. I think she's still angry about it, she found out weeks after it happened, had to learn it all through long and emotion driven e-mails from Mom and Dad. Knowing Darc she hasn't processed it all yet."

"Yeah, sounds like your sister," Spin nods handing me my coffee.

"How's Paige doing?" I query as I sit down at a table near the counter.

"She's good, she's traveling right now, New York and then LA for fashion shows. She won't be home for two more weeks and I miss her, it's why I've been working so much," Spin tells me.

I smile, but a group of people come in and Spin asks what he can get them. I sip at my coffee and nibble the muffin slowly. I'm going so slow because I'm hoping to still be in here when Fitz gets off lunch. At least I presume him to be on lunch, but I won't ask Spinner. If I ask Spinner, he'll want to know why I want to know. I'm about halfway through the muffin and coffee when my phone rings. When I see Adam's grinning face flashing on my phone I answer.

"Hey Adam."

"What are you up to today?"

"Nothing really, just at The Dot getting breakfast," I reply.

"Want to come over? Dallas already has Owen over, and Drew just invited Bianca over, I need company that won't drive me crazy," Adam says.

"HEY," comes a chorus of male voices from the background and it makes me giggle.

"Sure, I'll start walking," I reply.

"Cool, see you soon," Adam says and hangs up.

I get a small paper bag from Spinner to put the rest of my muffin in, and stick it in my purse. I sip my coffee as I walk to Adam's finishing just before I get there, but I have to keep holding the cup until I get to Adam's.

"Hi Veep," Drew grins as I come through the sliding glass door.

"Hi Clare," Adam smiles.

"Apparently, we're not good enough company for Adam," Dallas comments feigning hurt.

"Well, I can't blame him," I quip back as I toss my empty coffee cup in the trash. "Where's Bianca? I thought she was coming over too?"

"She's on her way," Drew says as I sit on the sofa between him and Adam.

"Drew told us you appointed me and Adam to student council," Dallas comments.

"Yes, I'm sure you'll both do a great job," I smile.

"It's gonna suck to be so far away next year. I want to see Drew running the school, you know you'll have to keep him in line Clare," Owen remarks.

"I can handle that," I smile. Bianca arrives sitting on the other side of Drew and greeting him with a kiss.

"What should we do?" Adam questions when Drew and Bianca's lips part.

"Let's play a game, I vote truth-or-dare," Dallas grins.

"I vote no, the only two girls here are my girlfriend and my Veep," Drew says.

"Yeah, we're not doing that," Adam shakes his head.

After some arguing we do finally decide to play a board game. While Adam gets the game Owen and Drew complain that they're hungry. Bianca says she's going up to get some snacks, and I volunteer to go with her, mostly to talk to her alone.

"Bianca," I venture once we're upstairs, "have you ever liked a guy that you knew wasn't very good for you? Possibly even really bad for you?"

She was getting out chips, but she stops and turns to me, her eyebrow is arched, her mouth twisted to the side just a bit. "Yeah, every guy I've liked or had a relationship with my entire life."

"Even Drew?" I inquire but I whisper.

"I love Drew, and he's definitely the best guy I've ever dated, but that doesn't mean he's really good for me. Or that I'm really good for him, don't tell him I said that, or Audra. So, who's this bad boy?"

"What makes you think he's a bad boy?"

"Good guys aren't bad for you. Would you be asking me this if the boy you liked was Adam?"

"No, but he's not bad necessarily, just…" I pause biting my lip turning to lean my arms on the counter and stare out the window. I'm not even sure how to complete this sentence.

"Just?" Bianca asks leaning on the counter next to me. "You're not getting back together with Eli are you?"

"No, definitely not. He wanted to talk to me Friday, but I didn't want to see him."

"Okay, so this new bad boy is just…" Bianca prompts.

"I don't know," I sigh, "he's someone I know, kind of anyway. I like him…sort of. He's…we aren't even dating but last night I let him…"

"You didn't sleep with him did you?"

"No, but he did," I stop and look behind us to make sure that no one else is listening, "ate me out," I whisper.

"Should I take you to the clinic for birth control?"

"No, I've been on birth control since I was twelve. Spinner and Jane put me on it after Darcy's rape. Anyway, we didn't have sex but…there was a moment when I thought he would."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we aren't even dating, but we've made out a couple of times and we making out last night, but then he started going farther. I wasn't sure he would stop," I admit.

"Did you ask him to stop?" Bianca questions.

"Ask who to stop what?" Drew's voice behind us makes us both jump.

"You two take way too long to get snacks," Owen complains.

"Sorry, we were just talking and got distracted," I apologize.

Drew pinches his eyebrows together and twists his mouth a little. I don't think he believes me, or maybe it's because I didn't answer his question. They help us get snacks and we return downstairs, the game is set up and we start playing.

I spend all afternoon at Adam's playing games, hanging out, watching movies. I even stay for dinner, as do Owen and Bianca. After dinner Drew and I take the empty pizza boxes out to the trash, but before we go back inside he catches my arm.

"Is someone hurting you? You never answered my question earlier," he comments.

"No, he's not hurting me, we just went a little farther than I was maybe ready to," I reply. I say the last part hesitantly, I'm not entirely sure I can explain what happened last night.

"Did someone rape you?" Drew asks and looks ill while doing so.

"No, we were making out on my bed and then it just started going further than that. He ate me out, he didn't hurt me."

"Did you tell him to stop?"

I bite my lip, thinking back, honestly some of the night is a bit of a blur. Before I can answer the garage door opens and Adam is standing there.

"It's taking you two way too long to take out the trash, Owen thinks you're making out," Adam comments.

"Just talking about student council next year," Drew tells his brother and I release a breath.

"I should probably get home," I tell them as we go back inside.

"I can drop you off Clare, it's on my way and I need to get going to," Bianca says.

"Thanks, see you all at school tomorrow," I say as I grab my purse. Bianca kisses Drew and we go out to her car.

"So, this guy you're not sure of, do you think he would stop if you told him to?"

"I don't know honestly, I want to say yes, that he wouldn't hurt me. I just don't know; I don't know him that well. Then again I do know Eli really well and he's never hurt me physically, but he was emotionally abusive, I just didn't see it until after we broke up. If I didn't think of Adam like a brother I'd date him. I don't know why I always fall for the guys that seem to be bad for me. K.C., Eli, even Jake," I sigh.

"I'm not any better with boys, so I can't give you advice that way. But, if this boy won't stop when you ask him to then you shouldn't be with him," Bianca tells me.

"Yeah, I know," I nod.

"You want my phone number in case you need to talk? Or you need help with this mystery bad boy?" Bianca asks as she pulls up outside of my house.

"Umm, sure that would be good," I smile.

We exchange phone numbers and I thank her for the ride before getting out of the car. Mom and Glen are in the kitchen and I say hi to them before going up to my room. Despite what Bianca said, and my apprehensions about Fitz the very first thing I do is make sure my window is unlocked. I even open it a crack, then look out to the backyard, but he's not there.

As nervous, and even possibly scared, as I was last night it felt really good. As unsure as I am about Fitz and his feelings for me I do like being with him. Last night was my first orgasm, and amazing doesn't even begin to describe it. I want more and that in itself is scary.

I've never felt this way before, not with Jake, definitely not with Eli. Part of me is actually afraid of Fitz, part of me just wants him to be kissing me and touching me. Part of me really wants to be with him, part of me wants to never see him again. It's very confusing, and I honestly don't know how I feel about him.

Despite me wanting him to come through my window tonight I don't see him, and I don't sleep very well either. Mostly because I spend the night worried that Fitz ran into Steve again. That he's too hurt to come to my house or climb through my window. I want to know that he's safe, and I don't know that he is. When I do finally fall asleep I have a nightmare about Fitz getting beat up.

"You look rough," Jake comments when I come out of my room Monday morning.

"Didn't sleep very well," I yawn pushing past him to get into the washroom.

I get ready for school, but I'm not hungry so I don't eat. I am tempted to ask Jake to stop at The Dot on the way to school though. I don't, but it's very tempting to do so just to see Fitz, to know that he's safe, that is if he's even working this morning. The bad thing is I think about Fitz all morning, thankfully neither morning class is very hard and I can listen and do the work still. By lunch I'm almost panicked that I haven't heard from him, or seen him, and all these horrible thoughts about what might have happened to him run through my mind.

"I'm going to The Dot for lunch," I tell Adam as we leave 2nd period media studies.

"I'll come with you," he grins.

We start walking toward the doors, passing Drew, Owen and Dallas, and they start following us out. I'm not sure if they've decided they're coming with us or happen to also be going outside, but they're only a few steps behind us. They continue to follow us down the street, so they must be going to The Dot too. When we get to the bus stop I see Jennifer leaning on her car. She must be here for me, and it must be about Asher.

"I'll meet you there," I tell Adam. He looks at me and stops walking, but he doesn't go across the street to The Dot. Drew, Owen and Dallas also stop walking and stop talking, and I know they're all watching me.

"Hey, I was about to text to you, I thought it might be lunch time here. I just came from my deposition, yours should be soon," Jennifer says.

"Tomorrow," I nod. I knew it was coming, I honestly just didn't want to think about it.

"You know yours is the only case that the statute of limitations hasn't run out," she reminds me.

"Yeah, I know and the only one with evidence that could work against me," I sigh. Suddenly, thinking about it all, the possible outcomes of this situation I start feeling ill and I'm not hungry.

"With my testimony and Teresa's it should be enough for something. Anyway, I'll let you eat lunch, text me tomorrow, let me know how it goes," Jennifer requests. I nod and she gets back in her car and drives off.

"You okay?" Adam asks putting his arm around me. I just nod in response. "I didn't know you were being deposed tomorrow," Adam comments.

"They can't kick you out of the country," Drew speaks up.

"Deposed, not deported Drew. It means she has a deposition with the lawyer tomorrow," Adam explains to his brother.

"Isn't your dad a lawyer?" Owen questions Drew in a teasing voice.

"Yeah, but I don't listen when he talks legal stuff," Drew shrugs.

"Why do you need a lawyer?" Owen asks.

Adam looks at me to see if it's okay to tell them because he knows about Asher. Before I can decide if I want them to know Dallas speaks up, he caught on quicker than I was hoping.

"Did you press charges against Asher?"

"Wasn't Asher your co-op boss?" Drew inquires.

"Let's go eat," Adam says pulling me towards The Dot.

"I'm not hungry anymore," I shake my head.

"Well, you're eating anyway. Come on, I'll buy you a milkshake," Adam asserts.

"Where's Bianca?" I question as we start walking to The Dot.

"She's eating with Fiona, they have a project for science class to work on," Drew explains.

I'm hoping to see Fitz when I come in, that was the reason I wanted to eat at The Dot in the first place. However, only Spinner is behind the counter when we come in. I sit down while Adam and the guys order, Adam does get me a chocolate milkshake and we all sit at one table.

"Okay, explanation now," Owen demands as soon as he sits down.

I heave a heavy sigh as I always do when I'm about to talk about Asher. "Asher, my co-op boss, a man I greatly admired, and was excited to work with, assaulted me."

"What do you mean assaulted you?" Drew asks.

"He kissed her while they were working on the article for Eli's play. He apologized, she believed him and then tried to assault her in his car," Dallas enlightens them.

"You can tell us how you know that later," Owen remarks giving Dallas a look then looks back at me, "I hope Eli killed him."

"She didn't tell Eli until her party. She did press charges though, that's why she has a deposition tomorrow," Adam explains.

While I very slowly sip at my milkshake I tell them about Jennifer and Teresa also coming forward. And, the things that will likely work against me for this case and why I think I might lose.

"If you lose the case I say we find Asher and just beat the shit out of him," Owen shrugs.

"If you do that all it will accomplish is you getting in trouble and Asher becoming the victim," I argue.

"Well, we can't let him get away with it," Drew says.

"Let's not talk about this anymore," I sigh.

Adam hugs me, and even Owen pats my back from his seat next to me. Having Asher beat up has crossed my mind before, but I don't want him to become the victim. Drew starts talking about student council next year and it distracts me. The boys eat lunch and I slowly sip at my milkshake. It's hard to get through the afternoon as my mind is consumed with Asher and worry about Fitz.

 **(FITZ)**

Clare opens her bedroom door Monday afternoon, and as soon as she closes it I grab her and spin her around into a kiss. I start to lock her door, but she pushes me away.

"Stop," she whispers walking to her bed.

"What's wrong?"

"Where were you last night? Why'd you leave in the middle of the night on Saturday?"

"Are you mad at me for leaving or not coming over last night? I didn't know I needed to check in with you every night."

"You don't," she says wrapping her arms around her knees, "I was just worried."

"Very early Sunday morning I woke up from a bad dream. Technically, I left a little before five in the morning, so it wasn't the middle of the night. I would have had to be at work in an hour anyway, so I left. I didn't want to bother you, and I wanted to be out before your parents woke up. I slept in the ravine last night," I tell her.

"I told you not to sleep in the ravine," she says.

"The ravine is perfectly safe," I argue and she grimaces at me.

"I've been there, it's not. Your eye needs more ice, and your other bruises probably need some of the cream," Clare says. She leaves her room, but leaves her door open, so I hide in her closet. She returns with ice and the cream for my bruises, I don't like the cream, it smells. "Take your shirt off and lie down," Clare orders.

I take off my shirt and lie back on the bed. She gives me the ice and I hold it to my eye. I'm about to ask if we're going to kiss while I hold the ice, but then she puts some of the cream in her hand. She gently rubs it into the bruise on my chin. Even better she rubs the cream into the bruises on my stomach and chest. She's rubbing gross smelling cream on me, but her touch is still turning me on.

"I'm sure that was twenty minutes," I remark taking the ice off when she's done with the cream.

"It wasn't twenty minutes, keep the ice on. I'll be right back and then I'll put on a movie," she tells me as gets off the bed.

She leaves the room; I huff leaning back with the ice on my eye. Clare returns to the room and sets a movie on her laptop. She tells me when it's been long enough and I can take the ice off my eye. She takes the ice and goes downstairs to put it back in the freezer. When she returns to the room she sits at her desk to do her homework. She's not even looking at me, so I sit there watching the movie and glancing at her every so often. When the movie ends she puts on another movie just as her mom calls her down to dinner.

"I'll tell her I have a lot of homework and I'm eating in my room. Stay here," Clare commands before leaving her room. She closes her door all the way, and I hear her saying something to Jake in the hall as they go downstairs.

"She really is demanding," I remark to myself when I'm alone in the room.

Clare returns a few moments later with a plate that's piled twice as high as what I've normally seen her eat. I wonder what she told her family when they saw her taking so much food. She sits on the bed and puts the plate between us, she managed to get two forks and hands me one.

"Thanks," I smile taking the fork and looking at the plate. It's bowtie pasta with pesto, sun dried tomatoes, shaved parmesan and chicken. There's also garlic bread and green beans. It's really good and it's more than I usually eat for dinner. We eat it all and she takes the plate downstairs, and when she returns to her room sits at her desk to do homework again. "I can leave if I'm in the way," I offer.

"Did I say you were in the way?" She questions, but her tone is sharp and stabs at me.

"No, but you seem busy with homework a…"

"I'm almost done," she replies cutting me off.

I release a breath and go back to watching the movie. Clare finishes her homework and sits on the bed to finish the movie. She sits stiffly though, and away from me at first. Slowly though she begins to relax, lean back and move closer to me, not that her bed is very big. When the credits begin to roll I turn to Clare and comb my fingers into her hair ready to kiss her.

"I'm going to shower," she tells me and jumps from the bed.

She leaves her room closing the door behind her. I decide she really doesn't want me here, so I grab my backpack and climb out the window. This is the easy part, only Jake's window looks out this way and his curtains are almost always closed. The hard part is getting through the yard without being seen by anyone downstairs. Once I'm on the ground I walk slowly to the corner just before the sliding glass door, I peek around slowly. Clare's parents are on the sofa watching TV, if I walk past the window they'll see me. I have to get on my hands and knees and crawl, the deck will hide me. I crawl all the way to the other corner of the house before standing. Then I stand and stroll out from the gate.

I walk to the ravine, take a beer and sit by the fire. I stay the night there, waking early and sneaking into the school to shower. I work ten to seven today, but I go early and get breakfast, taking the keys to the club. I hang out there for the morning even getting a couple more hours of sleep. I don't see Clare all day, lots of other kids come into The Dot, but I don't see Clare.

Wednesday she does come into The Dot; she gives me a look when she sees me. She seems to be partly worried, partly angry, and something I can't place. She orders from me, and looks like she wants to say something, but Spinner is right behind me and she holds back. I consider going to her house that night, but I got the ravine instead. I don't have work Thursday, so I spend the day in the ravine.

I should have gone to work and hung out at the club. When it's lunch time at DeGrassi several of the kids come to the ravine. Including a couple girls that have never been here, why they decided to come to the ravine on their lunch I have no idea. Whatever the reasons they are here and obnoxious, they take plastic cups with hard liquor and start drinking. Then they start flirting with every male here, one of them even sits in my lap, and I move her off. She giggles, leans over and then vomits all over me.

"Gross," I exclaim getting my hoodie off.

"Oh, I'm going to be sick," she says and then vomits again into the dirt.

"Jesse," her friend says in worried tone, she stumbles over and falls, kicking my backpack into the fire! The old canvas pack starts to ignite immediately.

"Fuck, you stupid girls," I growl grabbing my backpack from the flames. I slam the bag down and beat out the flames.

Picking up the burned bag I go into the van and take off the jeans with vomit on them. There's always some plastic bags in here, I grab one and put the jeans in the bag. I open my backpack to look at the damage. My toothbrush is partially melted, the deodorant stick melted, my jeans partially burned, and it all smells. I need a new bag and more clothes, this is not something I can wash away. I only have one thing to do, go home. Thankfully, it's the middle of the day and the house should be empty. I change into the pair of jeans that's singed on one leg. I leave the pack and the burned clothes in the van, grab the plastic bag with my soiled jeans in them and leave the van. I grab my hoodie and put it in the plastic bag before I start walking home.

I walk into an empty house, releasing a breath, and walking up to my room. I drop the plastic bag with the vomit clothes on my floor then grab my old backpack from the top of my closet. Going to my dresser and start getting clothes into it, I'm going fast, making a lot of noise. Until I hear the floor creaking and I turn around to see my stepdad standing there. He's drunk or maybe hung over, he sees that it's me and his eyes narrow in hateful anger.

 **It's not a terrible cliffhanger, I'll update soon I promise and it will pick up from around here. Next story to be updated is** _ **The Way She Smiles When She Sees Me**_ **.**


	4. Good Advice that Won't Stick

**Feels like it's been forever since I worked on this one, but here finally is chapter 4 and 5 is also up.**

 **Ch. 4 Good Advice that won't Stick**

 **(CLARE)**

I walk home from The Dot with a heavy feeling. Fitz left Monday night, and I didn't want him to, though I guess I did sort of push him away. I hate that he does that, that he comes and goes on a whim. When he's not there I worry that he's hurt, that he's been beat up again. I've had dreams about him lying injured in an alley somewhere, too hurt to come to my place.

Tuesday I didn't want to think about him, I didn't want to think about anything. Mom picked me up from school and took me to my deposition. That was one of the hardest things I've been through, and I know the trial is going to be worse. I felt sick afterwards, I didn't eat, I cried myself to sleep and I had horrible dreams. It was the one night when I wanted to see Fitz, when I needed him and he wasn't there.

When I woke Wednesday morning I really wanted Fitz to be in my room. I wanted him to grab me and kiss me, make the rest of the world melt away. He wasn't there of course. I was happy to see him at The Dot, alive and seemingly no more hurt than he had been. I wanted to ask him if he was coming over that night. No, I wanted to beg him, to have him there and erase the rest of the world. To kiss me so hard and passionately that I feel sexy and desired. I couldn't though, other kids were in The Dot and Spinner was right behind Fitz. I should have said something, slipped him a note or something, because he didn't come last night either.

Now it's Thursday, and I haven't seen him all day, he wasn't working at The Dot. I stopped by before school, at lunch, even did my homework there after school. No Fitz. I couldn't exactly ask Spinner when Fitz was coming to work next. Now I was walking home for dinner, even though I was not at all hungry. I sit at the table and poke at my food, eating is the last thing I want right now.

"I'm not hungry, may I be excused?" I request after ten minutes of staring at my food.

"Alright Honey, it will be in the fridge if you decide you're hungry later," Mom tells me.

I nod, leave my backpack at the foot of the stairs and go up to the washroom. I turn on the shower and get in, the hot water feels good, it just doesn't help clear my mind. At first, the only thing I think about is Asher's kiss. Then I begin to picture Fitz getting into the shower with me, pushing me against the wall to kiss me.

"This is crazy, I feel like I'm losing my mind," I remark to myself turning off the shower.

I decide I'm in such emotional turmoil after everything that happened that I'm losing my mind. I'm afraid of Fitz, yet I long for him to hold me and kiss me, and possibly more. I hate Asher, I want him to pay, thinking of him disgusts me, and I'm terrified what's going to happen at the trial. Eli wants to talk still, and I've been skillfully avoiding him, with some help from Alli, Adam, Jenna and my other friends. Even Drew, Bianca, Owen and the other Ice Hounds have helped. I don't want to talk to Eli, I don't want to hear what he has to say, what excuses he has for his behavior.

I dry off, wrap in my bathrobe, pick up my clothes and go across to my room. The door is closed, I don't remember closing it, and when I come in the curtains are closed. The fact that my door was closed and the room was completely dark should have been my first clue. But, I don't realize Fitz is here until he grabs me and kisses me hard. I drop my clothes and grip onto him, I'm relieved that he's here, but angry at the same time. He picks me up and takes me to the bed, his hands are feeling the bathrobe material.

My family is home and I'm worried they'll know, I hear the sounds of the TV downstairs and music from Jake's room. Fitz's hand tugs at the bathrobe and it begins to fall open, a breath hitches in my throat. I wasn't expecting him or I would have put more clothes on. After all, he hadn't been here since Monday and he left so abruptly, I had no reason to think he would be. Fitz smiles into the kiss when he realizes I'm totally nude aside from the robe. His fingers wasting no time to feel my skin, he caresses my belly. I release that breath and my stomach muscles tense slightly wherever he touches.

His fingers crawl down my belly, combing through my pubic hair and pressing on my clit. I gasp, my body jerks slightly, and then relaxes and his hand moves farther down. Now my body and brain begin to conflict, my brain tells me to tell him to stop, my body hungers for his touch. I become frozen by this conflict, and Fitz gets my legs apart, before I even realize it he's twisting in a finger.

"Ahgrrmmm, Fitz!" I gasp pulling out of the kiss. "Jake is on the other side of the wall, my parents downstairs."

He doesn't respond, only crushes his lips to mine again. I think about telling him to stop, pushing him away and he curls his finger inside of me. Instead of telling him to stop I make a quick gasping moan into the kiss. Instead of pushing him away I grip his shirt and hold him closer.

Fitz twists his finger, thrusts it, curls and uncurls it, his palm pressed against my clit. His lips sealed to mine so completely I breathe only his breath. My body begins to bend itself to his will and my mind begins to go blank. It's been so long since my mind was blank that I succumb to it. My fears and apprehension give way and I allow the pleasure to take over. Holding tightly to Fitz, moaning gently against his lips, his finger and palm waking nerve endings, sending pleasure signals to my brain.

I'm not sure how long this goes on; it feels like a really long time for that tickle to orgasm to build. It starts to seem as though I will never reach my peak, but finally I feel it coming. My toes curl, my body shaking, I start bucking my hips seeking out Fitz's finger to finish. He obliges in a way, adding a second finger and speeding up. I start to break the kiss to scream out in rapturous abandon, but Fitz keeps his lips sealed tightly to mine. I grip him as tightly as I can, my body trembles uncontrollably and I moan into his mouth.

As soon as the orgasm dissipates I sink back into the bed, as I'm trying to recover Fitz gets up quickly. He locks my door and I see him getting undressed. No longer lost in lascivious bliss my fears and apprehension begin to come back.

"Fitz we c…" I start to whisper, but he moves quickly and silently to the bed capturing my lips.

I start to move, to push him away, but his hand goes between my legs. Already sensitive and still recovering from orgasm all I can do is gasp and let my body tremble at his touch. He moves his fingers a little, gently twisting two in and evoking a moan from my lips. Before I can even take a breath he slides down between my legs. His fingers still inside me he adds his tongue, I gasp and it comes out as a quivering moan. So afraid that my family will hear I grab the black teddy bear Eli gave me (after two breakups I still can't stand to part with it) and muffle my moans into the bear.

Fitz keeps his tongue and finger worming inside me until I'm squirming and writhing. My hips bucking, my body beaded by sweat, and quivering as it's nearing orgasm. Then he suddenly, and rather cruelly withdraws, I lurch and whimper. I take the bear from my face and take a deep breath, barely able to see Fitz's figure in the darkness of my room. Only faintly aware that his zipper is coming down.

When I feel the head of his cock poking at my hole and I realize what he's about to do it's too late. Before I can take a breath to say stop he's entered. It's painful, I start to make a pained cry and he overtakes my lips. I grip his shoulders tightly, I'm pretty sure my nails are digging into him, but if they are he doesn't seem to mind.

His cock slides in, I am pretty wet, but it doesn't help very much, he can't go in very easily. Much larger and with more girth than tongue and fingers it forces my body to stretch. I feel the tears in the corners of my eyes, the burning, the pain. Underneath it all, buried somewhere deep under all the pain there is pleasure, I can just barely feel it.

Fitz on the other hand seems to feel nothing but pleasure. He's thrusting steadily and with every thrust moans against my lips. Even his breaths seem to be carried by bliss as they ghost from his mouth to mine and back. I wish that's how I felt, that I could know this euphoria he seems to be in, but I still feel mostly pain. I had been building to orgasm, now I just want it to stop. I try to relax, to tell my body to loosen up and not resist and that it will feel better.

Fitz on the other hand starts thrusting faster, he's starting to build to orgasm. His breathing, still sounding as though he's entirely in ecstasy also begin to become grunts. Deep grunts muffled against my lips thankfully, or surely Jake would hear. I feel his muscles begin to get tight and taught, his movements less steady and more erratic. Then he grows a little inside me and I feel my core being filled by his seed.

Fitz makes one more hard thrust and then moans my name softly as his head falls to my breast. His body lies against mine, though he does seem to be supporting most of his weight on his arm. He lies there, an arm draped over me, his heavy breaths drifting over my skin. He's still inside me, but starting to go soft now that he's shot his load.

I bite my lip, I don't know how to feel, now that he's not hard and thrusting I'm not in so much pain. I'm hot down there, kind of sore, I can feel the phantoms of pain that were there. And yet, I feel almost empty, a sort of longing, perhaps just unfulfilled because he orgasmed and I did not. That's only the physical though.

Emotionally I'm drained, with all that's happened my emotions are this whirlwind of chaos. I feel too much and yet I feel nothing, I feel like I'm not myself, like this is a distorted dream and I'm not really here.

Mentally I'm on fire, my mind going on and on, arguing with itself, with my body. Angry at Fitz for just doing that, and then another part of my mind speaks up that I never said to stop. I didn't say wait, I barely even said his name. Clearly he was fired on high emotion, stress, he wasn't thinking at all. Then yet another part of my mind says he never gave me a chance to speak, and when I tried he silenced me.

All of this, all of it is going on inside my 5 foot 2 body and in my mind. I feel like I might explode, and then I think doing so would be a good thing. I picture myself suddenly bursting into a bunch of ash and slowly dying embers. Taken away by the wind, out the window and away from all of this, from everyone, where nothing can get to me any longer, bad or good.

"I think I owe you an orgasm," Fitz says suddenly coming back to life and pulling me from my dark thoughts.

He moves, I make some noises between exhales and grunts. His head goes between my legs and then his tongue softly and slowly starts to lick my clit. I bite my lip stifling a moan as his lips kiss my vaginal lips. His tongue, soft and warm, is delicately licking and lapping around my pussy. He never really puts his tongue in this time, though it occurs to me that I'm still full of his sperm and he probably doesn't want to taste that.

What he is doing though is very erotically rapturous and begins to erase everything else. The pain I was in physically begins to vanish, the emotional pain goes with it. Soon I'm giving into the intoxicating elation, and my mind begins to go blank again. Any doubts or fears I was holding start to dissipate and all I want is for Fitz to bring me to orgasm.

 **(FITZ)**

I lick Clare's clit, and her pussy lips, I don't want to taste my sperm even with her juices. Seeing her with my seed dripping out is a very sexy sight, it even smells good, my juices mixed with hers. I kiss her clit and she moans, it's muffled into something, as much as I want to hear her moaning her family is home, so it's better that it's muffled. I suck on her clit, she moans a little louder and her body jerks violently from the sensation. I continue doing this, rubbing just inside the top of her pussy with my fingers, occasionally flicking her clit with my tongue.

Even with her moans muffled I know what her body likes by her sounds and movements. It takes a little while but I get her to orgasm once more. Her body starts writhing violently, I think she's letting her orgasmic scream go into the pillow because I hardly hear it. I stop sucking her clit, but continue to rub gently with one hand. With the other I find my jeans and dig out my phone, snapping a picture of Clare's pussy right after orgasm and full of my seed. Setting my phone down, just as she removes the pillow from her head.

She's panting hard, and I lie on my stomach with one arm over her. My back and arms sting again. When I was kissing, fucking and going down on Clare they didn't hurt at all. Clare's panting hard, her body still quivering at little, it trembles even more when I kiss her shoulder. I love having her body at my mercy, and I wish her family wasn't here so I could do naughty things to it all night long.

"I can't move," she pants.

"Why would you need to?" I question as I start slowly dragging one finger along her arm.

"Pajamas, get ready for bed," she whispers back and sounds like she's half asleep already. Guess I wore her out.

"No pajamas, sleep naked," I tell her. I'm naked too, it feels much better on my back, I took off my hoodie when I came into her room, shoes and socks too. The rest of my clothes came off right before I fucked her. "Brush your teeth in the morning when you can move," I respond picking my head up and kissing her softly. Then I grab my phone and set it on the floor next to the bed, pulling the covers down from under her body and back up to cover us.

She doesn't argue, doesn't tell me to sleep on the floor, she just falls asleep. I get the first really good night's sleep in weeks, holding her naked body next to mine. She wakes up early the next morning, I feel her move and look at her with a sleepy grin. She gets up slowly, making a lot of noises, I think she's sore after last night. I'm vaguely aware of her putting on her bathrobe and leaving her room for the washroom. I hear her shuffling back in, making more noises and her door closing and then she gasps.

"Fitz what happened?" She rushes over and sits on the bed, I hear her suck in a breath. Whether that's because it was painful for her to sit or because she sees the results of my visit home I'm not quite sure. Her fingers tenderly touch down on my back, I hiss in pain and she jerks her hand away like she just put it in fire. "Fitz," she gasps again. I roll to my side just a little and see her eyes wet with tears.

"I'm fine. You should get ready for school," I tell her.

"You're not fine Fitz, what happened? Your back is…"

"It'll heal, I'll be okay."

"You can't go to work today; you can't work like that."

"I'll be fine; besides I need the money."

"Mark, you c…" she starts to argue again, even using my first name. I'm not going to argue with her about this. Despite the pain it causes I grab her pull her to the bed on her back, with me mounted over her. She cuts off her own sentence with a gasp and I crush my lips to hers.

I caress my hand down her stomach and her muscles tighten at my touch. Her body quivering, her bathrobe open. I comb through her pubic hair and press on her clit, like tapping a button that sends her body shaking. Her lips begin to part as she starts to give in and kiss me back. Her legs open just enough for me to get my hand between and I plunge three fingers into her hole. She whimpers and gasps, breaking the kiss, biting her lip, she's still so tender and I'm getting turned on. I'm about ready to spread her legs and fuck her again, but we hear noises just outside her door, and we both go very still and silent. The noises pass as her parents go downstairs, but it's too risky, I release her and get up.

"What do you think you're doing?" She whispers.

"Getting ready to leave. I have to go back to my house to get clothes before work, I didn't exactly get the chance yesterday."

"Did your stepbrother do this?" She questions moving so that she can run her fingers over my back again.

"Stepdad actually, buckle end of his belt."

"Oh Fitz," she whispers and sounds like she might throw up or burst into tears. I turn and catch her lips for a kiss.

"Don't cry over me I'm not worth it."

"Mark y…" she starts and I scowl at her.

"Don't call me that either, now unless you're going to let me fuck you again I need to get dressed," I reply and she bites her lip. I release her and look for my hoodie, I put it on and hiss when it hits the cuts and welts.

"Wait," she requests softly and I look at her. "At least let me clean the cuts, and I can get some clothes from Jake's closet when he goes down to breakfast. Yours are covered in blood and your shirt is all torn up, your jeans don't look so good either."

"I don't want to look like a lumberjack."

"He has some t-shirts and an old sweatshirt he doesn't wear. Please, lie down and let me clean the cuts. You can rest for the day in my room, call in sick to work, I'm sure Spinner can cover."

"You can clean the cuts, but I'm going into work. I'll be fine and I already told you, I need the cash."

"I still don't think you should go to work, but okay. Lie down, I'll be right back," she says.

I lie on stomach, my head on my arms, covering up with the blanket to where it starts to hurt. Clare tightens her robe again, and I hear her walking out, and then I hear Jake come out of his room. She seems surprised by him, I think they both went for the washroom at the same time. Jake says something I can't quite hear and Clare says something back, but I don't quite hear her either. She returns to the room a couple minutes later and I hear her locking her bedroom door.

"Did Jake know you were naked under your robe?"

"Only if he has x-ray vision, he wondered why I was moving so strangely though."

"What did you say?"

"That I had a cut on my thigh from shaving, which explained the first aid supplies I was getting as well. This is going to sting," she says before I feel the cold liquid and then the sting of the alcohol. I hiss a little as she cleans the cuts, but she blows on them and it's soothing. "I still think you should stay here today," she comments when she puts the cap back on the alcohol.

"Only if you stay with me, so we can do more of what we did last night."

"I'm serious Fitz."

"So am I, that was fun," I grin opening her robe to touch her breast and she pulls away.

"I need to get ready for school," she says standing up quickly. She hisses and kind of falters, but goes to her dresser. She starts getting out clothes and I stand up, walking over, wrapping my arms around her as I kiss her neck. She gasps and kind of freezes, I spin her around, lift her up so she's sitting on her dresser, and open her legs. "Fi…eeep," she squeaks just as I get three fingers in.

"Clare?" Jake asks knocking on her door, "You okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, just getting dressed," she calls back. After a second I hear him go into his room and she pushes me away. "I have to get ready for school, if you're not going to stay here today then wait until everyone's gone before you leave."

I step back and sit on her bed, licking her taste from my fingers while she gets clothes. She leaves the bedroom and goes into the washroom to get dressed. She's gone for a long time, and I get my boxers on while I wait for her to return. When she does return she has some clothes in her arms.

"Here, Jake is eating breakfast and he'll never miss these, the jeans should fit you okay. This was all stuff he was going to give to a thrift store, well except the socks, but I doubt he'll miss one pair," she tells me handing me the clothes.

Then she leaves the room again and I hear her going downstairs. I look at the clothes, they aren't as bad I thought, the jeans are a little long, but they're okay. A green hoodie, and a black t-shirt. I get dressed quietly, and I hear people leaving, a few minutes later more people leave. I wait until the house has been quiet for a few minutes before I peek out, but it seems everyone is gone. I put on my shoes and go across to the washroom, I run some toothpaste over my teeth, borrow some of Jake's deodorant and grab my backpack from Clare's room. I leave through the backdoor like I did yesterday.

I don't work until ten, but I swing by The Dot and grab some breakfast, stashing my bag in my employee locker. I don't want to risk having my bag knocked in the fire or barfed on. Then walk to the ravine to hang out until work, having actually slept last night, and very well with a naked Clare next to me, I don't feel the need to lie down in the club this morning.

For the ravine kids, especially the ones that don't actually bother to go to school, it's very early. So, the ravine is quiet when I get there. I sit down next to the fire pit, with no fire in it, and drink my coffee. I eat the muffin I got quickly, and then get out my phone. I look at the picture I took of Clare last night, you can't see her face, so no one will know it's her. The picture is so hot I'm getting turned on again, and I don't hear people coming.

"Hey Fitzy," Bruce says sitting down next to me, "Whoa hot picture! Who's the pussy?"

"Just this chick I hooked up with," I shrug putting my phone in my pocket.

"You gonna hook up with her again?"

"Yeah, tonight probably," I grin thinking about all the things I want to do to Clare.

 **Chapter 5 is up!**


	5. You're Still Mine Can't You See

**Be sure to vote for which story will replace** _ **"Alone on a School Night"**_ **. As usual the polls are on my page of the DeGrassi Saviors site. We're doing things a little differently this time, you can vote for it to be replaced by either a short story or a long story. The single story with the most votes will replace** _ **"Alone on a School Night."**_

 **Currently, the short story** _ **"Tell Me I'm the Only One"**_ **is narrowly beating out the short story;** _ **"You Don't Have to be His Girl"**_ **& the long story **_**"Can't You See I Can Make You Happy Too?"**_ **which are only trailing by a few votes.**

 **Ch. 5 You're Still Mine Can't You See**

 **(DREW)**

"Clare, you can't keep avoiding me, we need to talk," Eli says ambushing her at her locker Friday morning. I had been on my way to talk to my Veep myself, he got there first. I knew she didn't want to talk to Eli and was ready to step in if necessary, after all Eli's moods were anything but stable.

"I don't want to talk Eli, I have nothing to say to you," she responds while closing her locker.

"Then just li…" Eli is says, but a sharp gasp from Clare makes him go quiet. She was bending over to pick her backpack up off the floor, and she's moving kind of funny. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, just…" she pauses biting her lip and her cheeks turn red, "a little tender."

"Tender? Why w…" Eli starts to question and Clare tries to walk away leaving her backpack, but suddenly Eli's face goes red with rage, his eyes narrow into slits. He grabs her arm and shoves her into the lockers. "You had sex with some other guy?" Eli growls.

As soon as he grabbed her I started walking over, I grip his backpack and yank him away from her. "Back the hell off Eli, she's not your girlfriend anymore."

"How could you sleep with another guy you slut!" Eli growls again.

"I said back the hell off, leave her alone and get out of here Eli, before I forget that Adam still considers you a friend," I tell him shoving him away and standing in front of Clare.

"What the hell are you going do Drew? You've had too many concussions to fight," Eli snarls at me.

"It won't be a fight, I'll just hit you and you'll go down. Come on Clare we have some student council business to discuss," I say picking up her backpack with one hand. Not giving either of them a choice I put my arm around Clare's back and we start walking down the hall.

The student council office is empty, and I already got the key from Fiona. I lock the door and have Clare sit on the sofa, she moves carefully, and hisses when she sits down.

"Thanks Drew," She smiles. A few tears are running down her cheeks.

I grab a tissue and hand it to her, "Eli's right isn't he? You lost your virginity last night."

She nods wiping her eyes.

"To the guy that went farther than you ready to by going down on you?"

She nods again.

"And, now you've gone all the way, which you really weren't ready for, so this guy raped you," I state and feel sick just at the thought of it.

"No, he didn't rape me, I didn't exactly tell him stop or no," she says quietly but won't look at me.

"Did you want to have sex?"

She bites her lip and looks away, I take that as a no.

"Did you try to say stop or tell him no? Did he even give you a chance to?"

She just rolls her lower lip between her teeth.

"Okay, tell me everything, including who this guy is so I know who's head to rip off."

"We have to get to class Drew," is her response.

"No, I'll text Adam and Owen and tell them we have student council stuff and we won't be in first period. It's probably just review for finals anyway, I'm sure you're more than prepared, and I already know I have to repeat," I reply getting out my phone.

 **Drew: Student council business with Clare. We won't be in homeroom.**

I send the text to both Owen and Adam, then slip my phone back in my pocket. "Okay, talk, everything," I assert. She remains silent looks at her hands. "You can tell me everything or I can take you to Principal Simpson and tell him you were raped. Then you can tell Officer Turner and whoever else they call," I tell her.

"It was the same guy; he was in my room last night."

"Your parents let him in?"

"He sneaks in the window."

"This guy is sounding better and better," I comment sarcastically, "I'm guessing Jake didn't know he was in your room?"

"No, and I wasn't expecting him. I hadn't seen him in a couple of days, I showered and went to my room in just a bathrobe. He grabbed me and kissed me as soon as I was in the room."

"So, he didn't have to rip your clothes off, because you were in just a bathrobe."

"He wouldn't r…" she starts to argue then thinks about it and stops herself, I guess she thinks he would rip her clothes off. "He picked me up and put me on my bed, realized I was naked and started to caress my skin, it felt nice but, scary too. My whole family was home, and I warned him. He was still kissing me, and started to…" she stops talking and looks at me, "This is too embarrassing to talk about with you."

"Me or Simpson," I remind her and she sighs. "It's not like I've had sex with a lot of girls, but I've done enough. Keep going Clare, he started to what?"

"Get a finger in and I broke the kiss, warning him that Jake was right on the other side of the wall. He kissed me again, twisting his finger in me. I was ready to tell him to stop, but his fingers kept going and he was kissing me so hard. I stopped thinking at all, just started giving into the pleasure. When I finally orgasmed he got off the bed to lock the door, and started getting undressed. I started to tell him we can't, but he kissed me again, started fingering me again. You have to understand I was already really sensitive after orgasm and I didn't have a lot of control."

"Clare I don't think you're some nympho, I know how it works, I've brought Bianca to many orgasms. I enjoy getting her to orgasm after orgasm before I even do anything for myself. Now keep going, he didn't want you to protest and wasn't listening so he finger-raped you again."

"He went down on me too, used his tongue. I was starting to build to orgasm again and he stopped, everything. I felt a sudden loss, and frustrated, I still couldn't think very well. That's when he took his jeans off and before I could even take a breath he thrust in. It hurt a lot, seemed to take a really long time, and he kept going faster, but he finally came. I was in a lot of pain after, sore, it kind of burned. When he recovered he said he thought he owed me an orgasm. He used his fingers and tongue again, and I did orgasm, eventually. I couldn't move after, but he pulled the covers over us and I fell asleep."

"Did he use a condom?"

"No, but I'm not pregnant, I've been on birth control since I was twelve."

"That doesn't m…twelve? I thought you were all about abstinence and stuff at least at twelve, I know your parent's divorce changed some things."

"My sister was raped on a school trip, drugged and raped," she tells me and I feel sick again. Adam didn't tell me her sister was raped, I wonder if he knew. "She didn't remember at first, thought she had slept with her boyfriend. When she started to remember she started to break down. Spinner and his girlfriend at the time got me on birth control, in case I was ever…" she bites her lip and looks away, but I know what she was going to say.

"Raped. I'm glad Spinner had that foresight. Okay, not pregnant, but what about STI's? If I recall you said you kind of knew this guy, do you know if he's clean? I doubt that you're his first."

"I…I don't know," she admits her lip trembling.

"Okay, let's go to the clinic. At least, get an STI screening," I assert helping her stand up.

"What will they do?"

"Take some blood, maybe do an internal exam, and you won't hear back until Monday or Tuesday probably."

"I don't even like getting a pap smear from my doctor."

"I'll stay with you, but you have to do this Clare," I assert again. She nods and we go out to my car, she looks out the window while I start driving. "You never did tell me his name," I comment.

"I'm not telling you that," she responds.

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to hurt him, he's been hurt enough as it is."

"What's that mean?"

She only shakes her head and continues looking out the window. We arrive at the clinic and she has no idea what to do, so I tell the nurse she needs an STI panel. We sit and wait, when she's called back I ask her if she wants me to go with her, she shakes her head. She's taken back and she's gone for about twenty minutes, when she comes out she's crying.

"What's wrong?"

"The pap smear really hurt, and they asked a lot of questions I didn't want to answer. Can we go back to school please? They'll call me with the results," she says.

"Yeah, come on," I reply putting my arm around her. We go back to my car and she's silent for the whole drive. "Thanks Drew, for taking me. Don't tell Adam okay?"

"I won't, for now anyway. You think this guy will be waiting for you tonight?"

"I don't know."

"Sleep at our place tonight," I tell her. My parents wouldn't like it, but they are gone until Sunday, so they won't even know. We aren't throwing a party though, not after the last one.

"Adam will want to know why."

"Tell him what you want, but either you sleep at my place tonight or I come to your house and find out who this guy is."

"Can you stop at my place then, so I can grab some stuff?"

"Sure," I shrug.

I stop at her house and go inside with her, I'm kind of hoping this guy is still here. She unlocks the door and the house is silent, so we're the only two here. I follow her up to her room and look at her bed, it's unmade and I pull up the comforter to look at it. There's a definite mix of blood and cum on the sheets and I cringe.

"You should probably wash this," I remark.

"Oh," she says quietly, "I'll put it in the machine before we leave."

I watch her packing, she's still moving slow and awkwardly. "Why do you seem to be in more pain than before?"

"You've never had a pap smear," she replies somewhat cryptically. I twist my mouth at this response, but then think about it a moment. I realize she probably had tools and more fingers in there and she was already tender.

"Right," I reply scratching the back of my head uncomfortably and feeling kind of stupid. "Uh, where's the washing machine? I'll put it in for you."

"There's a door across from the garage, that's the laundry."

"Okay, I'll be back in a minute."

I go downstairs and find the laundry room pretty easily, I start the water and spray the worst spots with stain remover. Put the soap in and the comforter and close the lid, and return to the stairs just as Clare is attempting to come down. She's moving really slow and awkward and seems to be in a lot of pain. I run up the stairs and swoop her up into my arms. She gasps and throws her arms around my neck.

"Really?" She questions as I start descending the stairs.

"What? You're in pain and I'm just carrying you down the stairs. Anyway, we don't have all day to wait for you to get down the stairs, we have to be back at school for second period," I remind her.

"Just don't carry me into the school. Eli's probably going to think I had sex with you since we never came to homeroom."

"I don't care what Eli thinks, I don't want Bianca thinking that, but I don't care what Eli thinks. And, you didn't have sex, you were raped," I remind her as I set her down at the base of the stairs.

"What if Adam thinks we were having sex in the student council office?" She inquires and ignores my last comment and relocking her door.

"Adam knows the two of us too well to think that, Owen might, but not Adam."

"You don't care what Owen thinks?"

"Only if he plans to punch me for thinking I cheated on Bianca," I reply unlocking the car. Clare laughs and we get in the car, driving back to school in silence. She gets out of the car very slowly, but leaves her bag inside since she'll be coming to our house. "You can hardly move, maybe I should just take you to our place, you could rest for the day. Take a hot bath, ice your…parts. And, whoever this guy is, he couldn't find you there."

"No, I'll be okay," she insists.

"You can barely move," I remark as we begin walking in.

"I'll be okay," she asserts again.

"And, I thought Adam was stubborn," I comment and she laughs again. She's really slow getting up the stairs and we walk through the door just as the bell rings.

"Thanks for everything Drew, I'll see you after school," she says before slowly walking down the hall. I watch her go down the hall before I walk to second period; Owen is already in class.

"Hey, you're still dateless for prom aren't you?" I ask him.

"Why? You want a DD or something?"

"No, I want you to ask Clare to the prom."

"Ooh, yeah you and Clare would be a hot couple. Plus, she's fun to kiss, when she doesn't slap you," Dallas butts in. We heard all about how he knew about Asher, and got Clare tipsy and kissed her.

"That was pretty random, did she say something while you guys were working on student council?" Owen questions.

"No, I'll explain later," I reply as the late bell rings.

Owen furrows his brow but doesn't ask any more questions. I'm not really paying attention to Mr. Bettankamp, I'm mostly thinking about Clare and trying to figure out who this guy could be. I'm fairly certain it's no one at the school, but then I wonder if not the school then where would Clare know him from? When the bell rings for lunch I grab my books and walk out of class, Owen following close behind.

"Okay, why do you want me to ask Clare the prom?"

"Some guy has been sneaking into her window at night. The other night he ate her out, she said that was farther she was ready for. Last night he raped her," I inform him but keep my voice low. Owen's eyebrows go up and his eyes pop out in shock.

"Who the fu…" Owen starts and I slap him to keep him quiet.

"I don't know; she wouldn't tell me. She also says that she wasn't raped, but he fingered her and when she was sensitive after orgasm he started again, then pulled out and before she could take a breath he thrust in. She says she didn't tell him to stop, but he didn't give her a chance. I took her to the clinic for an STI screening, but she's on birth control so she's not pregnant."

"I'm still not sure why I'm asking her to the prom, I'm happy to go kill this guy though."

"Because I'm hoping that she'll go and not see this guy anymore. Also, she's trying to avoid Eli, who almost hurt her himself when he discovered she'd had sex with another guy. If she goes with you, then he can't get to her and neither can this other guy."

"I'll ask her, but I barely know her and I don't think she has the highest opinion of me. What if she says no?"

"Then I keep her at my house as much as possible and talk Adam into having her at our house prom night," I reply.

"What about prom night?" Bianca asks coming up.

"It's going to be magical," I reply kissing my girlfriend. "Let's go eat at The Dot," I comment and put my arm around Bianca. We start walking for The Dot and I see my Veep and brother just ahead. I whistle and my brother looks back, Clare's still walking slow and has her arm linked with Adam. I wonder what she told him, if she's told him she's sleeping at our place tonight?

"I'm taking Clare to lunch at The Dot," Adam says.

"Good, that's where we're headed," I reply.

"You okay Clare? You're walking a little funny," Bianca remarks, "almost like…" I pinch her side before she continues. She gives me a look, a look that clearly says she has questions for me later, but she shuts her mouth.

"She says she pulled a muscle," Adam explains.

"You should put some heat on it later, and ice it too. For now," Owen remarks then goes over and picks her up, "I'll save you from walking."

She puts her arms around his neck and gives me a look, probably because I did the same thing to her earlier. I'm laughing and so are Adam, and Bianca. Owen carries Clare to The Dot, and sets her down right outside the door.

"You get a table, I'll order for you," Adam tells Clare.

Clare sits down and the rest of us go to the counter, Fitz and Spinner are working and Fitz looks past us right at Clare. Flashing this odd smile when he sees her, I look back at Clare, she bites her lip and looks away. I squeeze my eyebrows together, but he has had a crush on her for a while and she was raped last night, I pass it off as her being uncomfortable. We order and sit down with our drinks, our food will come out when it's ready.

"So, Clare," Owen ventures and we all look at him. He sat down across from Clare, not that he had much choice as Adam and I sat down on either side of Clare. "I was wondering if you'd go to prom with me?"

Adam's mouth drops open, Bianca starts choking on her the sip of her drink she just took, and Clare just blinks at him. I notice Fitz is standing still at the counter, and listening, he's sort of glaring at Owen.

"You want to take me to prom?" She asks in a doubtful tone. I don't really blame her, as Owen pointed out they haven't exactly hung out or even talked before this.

"Yeah, I know we haven't spent much time together, but I'm not the same guy as last year."

"I know that Owen," she smiles softly, "I'd be happy to go to prom with you."

"Great," he smiles.

"Guess I'll have to go get a dress this weekend," she says.

"Double bacon cheese burger," Fitz says reaching past Clare to set Owen's food down. "Chicken sandwich for B, bacon cheese burger for Drew, cheeseburger for Adam, and turkey sandwich for Clare," Fitz says leaning over her a little to set down her sandwich. When he straightens up he brushes the back of her neck. No one else sees it, or seems to notice that she both smiles and flinches a little at his touch. I see Clare's eyes close, she bites her lip, when Fitz walks away she watches him go back to the counter. She looks both pleased and scared from this brief and secret interaction.

" _Fuck it's Fitz!"_ I exclaim silently as it hits me. It's like having a puzzle without the box and all of a sudden the pieces fall into place for you. The look he gave her wasn't because he's still crushing on her, it's because he's been sneaking into her window and doing things to her. I want to say something, I want to hit Fitz, I want to ask her if it was Fitz that raped her last night. I don't, not here in front of everyone, but I do plan to confront her later. It takes a moment for me to get over the shock before I start eating. No one says much while eating, some small talk about classes, possible summer plans and that's about it.

"You're doing independent study now aren't you?" I ask Clare as we leave The Dot.

"Yeah, since I don't have my co-op anymore," she nods.

"I think you should go to our house now. There's no reason for you to be at school for the afternoon," I tell her. Mostly I just don't want Fitz to find out where she is.

"I don't want to walk all the way to your house," she comments.

"Ooh, sorry forgot," Owen says kneeling down so she can get on his back.

"I can run you home and miss the first few minutes of nutrition class," I tell her.

"Drew's right, there's no reason for you to be at school. You can use my laptop and do independent study at our house," Adam agrees.

"Can you bring my backpack from my locker Adam? I won't need it for the afternoon."

"Yeah, no problem," Adam says.

Owen sets her down near my car, I kiss Bianca and unlock my car. I take Clare to our place, I give her my house key, and she says she'll unlock the basement door for us. I return to school and slip into nutrition a few minutes late.

"So Clare's staying the night at your place?" Owen asks as we leave 3rd period and start walking to 4th.

"Yes, and I'm going to tell her to stay tomorrow night too. I'll feel much better with her in my bed."

 **(CLARE)**

I'd been at Adam's for almost two hours working on independent study. At least, that's what I should have been doing, but my mind was so very full of thoughts I couldn't concentrate. I had so much going through my mind I had just been staring at Adam's laptop almost the whole time.

At first, I think about Owen asking me to the prom, and wonder what prompted him to do so. I think about what kind of dress I should get, and wonder what Jake will think about me going to prom with Owen. Then I think about what Fitz will think about me going to prom with Owen.

Which of course just makes me think about Fitz all together. Last night replays in my head, I think about him grabbing me as soon as I was in the door. I can almost feel his lips on mine again, the fierce passion with which his lips and tongue sought out mine. Then I remember the fear that started to come when he opened my robe and discovered I was naked.

Then all I hear is Drew's voice telling me I was raped. I wasn't ready, but I never said stop. Part of me wanted him to touch me, I was more afraid of my family hearing us. I wasn't ready to lose my virginity, but when he uses his tongue, even when he uses his fingers it felt good. He knows what to do, which makes me wonder just how many other girls he's been with. It's something I'll have to ask him next time I see him.

When I hear the sliding glass door open I think Drew or Adam came home early and blew off last period.

"Eli what are you doing here?"

"You think I'd just leave you here and let you sleep with Drew again?" He growls angrily as he walks in.

"Eli what are you talking about?" I question. He's advancing toward me and I grab my phone from beside me while standing up quickly. I stand up too quickly and wince in pain, Eli's eyes narrow in jealousy.

"That's what I'm talking about, you gave away your virginity to him. I love you and you went and let that horny, brain-dead, pretty boy fuck you," Eli snarls.

"Wait, you think I had sex with Drew?" I question aghast.

"I know you had sex with Drew, I know you're sleeping here, with him. I even heard him say you'd be in his bed tonight, when you should be in mine."

"Eli I didn't have sex with Dr…"

"DON'T LIE TO ME," Eli yells and then leaps over the sofa to grab me.

I turn and start running for the stairs, unlocking my phone and hitting my messenger app. I hit Adam's name and start a text.

 **Clare: Eli's h**

It's all I manage to type before Eli grabs me by the waist and wrenches me back. He pulls so violently that I fall into him and drop my phone.

"Eli, let go of me," I demand. I try to elbow him, but he has hold of my arms and it doesn't really work.

"You're mine Clare," he hisses in a tone laced with venom and malice. He turns me around and picks me up over his shoulder, from this position I'm fairly helpless, other than being able to pound his back. He's holding my legs too tightly for me kick, but I pummel on his back with my fists as hard as I can.

"ELI PUT ME DOWN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I scream.

"Taking what's mine," he responds before tossing me onto the sofa.

"You're crazy," I spit at him and scramble up. I manage to kick his leg as he starts to get on the sofa, he falls back a little and I try to get up and over the back of the sofa.

It doesn't work, he grabs my hair and once again violently yanks me back. He growls and pushes me down into the sofa, his knee on my stomach and I can't breathe. His hands clamp onto my arms; I feel his fingers digging into my arms with brutal force.

"You are mine Clare," he whispers with a maniacal voice. I look in his eyes, they're menacing, but vacant. I don't see Eli there at all, and that scares me more than anything. "You're mine and I'm going to take you."

He presses into my stomach harder and I feel as though I'm going to pass out. Drew brought me here to be safe, and now I'm about to be raped by my ex-boyfriend and the first boy I ever loved.

 **It's not the worst cliffhanger I've ever done. Next update will pick up from just about here. Next story to be updated is** _ **"The Way She Smiles When She Sees Me."**_


	6. Ain't No Sleep Coming Out Mining A

**I've added two long stories to the list on my profile page. A Clew story and a Flew**

 **crackship story! Be sure to check those out.**

 **Also, as you know, Jekyll Clowen will be posted as I'm able to get to it, so not technically in the rotation. I have decided not to replace it with anything at the present time.**

 **Ch. 6** **Ain't No Sleep Coming Out Mining A Slippery World**

 **(ADAM)**

As I'm walking to last period my phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out. It's from Clare, but it's not complete, all it says is: **Eli's h** she was typing something, and it's cutoff. I furrow my brow and try to decipher what she was trying to tell me.

"What's wrong?" Dave asks.

"Clare sent an odd text, it's not complete," I comment showing him my phone.

"Eli's here? Why wouldn't he be at sch…" Dave begins and I cut him off.

"We need to go now, he's not at school he's with Clare at my house. Come on," I say urgently tugging at Dave's sleeve as we begin running.

"Why are we running?" Dave questions but doesn't stop running.

"DAVE, ADAM, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Mr. Turner yells after us.

"We'll be back Dad," Dave calls as we run out of school.

"Drive fast," I tell Dave when we reach his car. "Drew told me Eli attacked Clare this morning, she's already hurt and I'm not sure what he's capable of."

"You mean besides crashing his car, writing a play about them and lighting a script on fire? How did he attack her this morning?"

"Got angry and grabbed her arm when he found out she'd lost her virginity to someone else."

"Clare lost her virginity?"

"That's a longer story, and she barely told me. What I'm worried about right now is what Eli is doing to her," I comment.

"We're almost there," Dave says.

I try calling Clare but she doesn't answer. We arrive at my house a moment later and I hop out, running for the basement door. I didn't even wait for Dave to fully stop the car. Dave is right behind me, but he had to park and possibly lock his car. I get to the basement door and throw it open, running in and tackling Eli to the floor. He was on top of Clare on the sofa and I'm not sure she was conscious.

"GET OFF OF ME ADAM SHE'S MINE," Eli yells.

"You were going to rape her Eli," I growl holding him down on the floor. Clare starts coughing and I look behind me, it's long enough for Eli to hit me and knock me off of him. Eli tries to get away, but Dave comes in and uses a move, he must have learned from his dad, to hold Eli and restrain him with one arm behind his back.

"Let me go," Eli snarls.

"Get him in the washroom," I tell Dave. He shoves Eli in the washroom and I use Dallas' desk chair to lock him in. Eli starts banging on the door and screaming to let him out, but I ignore him. "Call your dad, I'm going to check on Clare," I tell Dave. he gets out his phone and I go over to Clare. "Are you okay?"

She's crying and coughing still, she kind of shakes her head, all I can do right now is hold her.

"My dad is on his way; do you need an ambulance Clare?" Dave asks.

She doesn't answer, she's just coughing and crying. Eli starts banging on the washroom door and Clare shivers, I hold her tighter and look at Dave.

"If he somehow manages to get out of there, stop him anyway you can," I instruct Dave.

"Yeah," Dave nods grabbing a rolling pin from the kitchenette, "no problem."

"I'm going to text Drew so he comes straight home," I tell Clare. She nods, but she's coughing and wheezing as though she can't get air. I let go of her and get my phone from my pocket to text my brother.

 **Adam: Eli came over and attacked Clare. She's pretty shook up.**

He's still in class and I don't expect him to look at his phone in class, as far as he's concerned Clare is safely at our house. Clare's still wheezing and coughing a little, her head in her hands. I rub her back and thinking about how Eli was sitting on her earlier realize she's probably hurt.

"Clare, sit up, I think you're hurt, let me see," I tell her in a soft voice. She sits up a bit and I look at her, the first thing I see is dark purple hand marks on her arms. I feel sick, thinking that Eli could have done that to her, hurt her that way. "Let me see your stomach," I tell her. She doesn't move so I lift her shirt, she has a bad bruise on her stomach too. His knee was pressing into her stomach or chest, he probably stopped her breathing and she went unconscious.

"I have backup on the way," Officer Turner says as he comes in, "called Simpson on my way over, he knows where you two are. I called an ambulance too, Clare needs to be looked at. I take it Eli's in the washroom?"

"Yeah, we locked him in so he couldn't get away. Clare has some bruises, I think he cut off her air and she passed out," I tell Officer Turner and then his radio comes on.

"The backup and ambulance will be here in a couple of minutes," Officer Turner says coming over to look at Clare. "How do you feel Clare? Are you hurt anywhere else?"

She kind of shakes her head, but it takes her a moment before she can answer. "I don't think so, he pulled my hair, he was pretty violent. I'm scared and shaken, still having a little trouble breathing," she says between coughs and some wheezing. "I feel a little sick to my stomach, but that may just be the emotions," she adds after some more coughing. I grab the wastebasket in Dallas' room in case she does get sick.

"You are having some trouble breathing I see, sit up and try to take some deep breaths. Backup is here, and the ambulance. I'm going to bring them in, you need to be looked at. We'll take Eli down to the station, you're pressing charges right?" Officer Turner asks and she nods.

He lets in the other officers, and two paramedics, he points the paramedics to Clare while he and the officers go to the washroom door. I hear the door open and Eli yelling as they subdue and handcuff him. I'm watching the paramedics look at Clare, she shows them her bruises, they listen to her heart and take her blood pressure. They listen to her stomach too, probably because her bruise is so bad.

"Your vitals are good, but you had your air cut off long enough for you to lose consciousness. We're going to give you some oxygen to help you breathe better. It doesn't seem like there's internal injuries, but you would have to go to the hospital to be sure," the paramedic tells her as the other one gets oxygen ready for her.

"Do I have to go to the hospital?" Clare asks as they hand her an oxygen mask. She takes the mask and puts it on, taking a few deep breaths.

"At this point it isn't necessary, but if you have no appetite or get any pain or swelling in your stomach go in immediately."

"She's staying here tonight, we'll make sure of it," I tell them.

"Clare, this is D.C. Connie Parker, she's going to get pictures of your bruising. She'll take you into a private room," Officer Turner tells Clare and she nods.

Clare gives the oxygen mask back to the paramedic and stands up. She goes with the detective into Dallas' room, so she can get pictures of Clare's bruises. Another officer is taking pictures of the mess in the basement.

"Where's Eli?" I question Officer Turner.

"Arrested, he's being taken to the station, and his parents have been called. We'll need to get statements from both of you and Clare. I'll arrange for an officer to meet with you both tomorrow, at your homes. Clare can be interviewed here as well, we just need an official statement," Officer Turner says to me and Dave.

"I can't believe Eli came over here and attacked her. If we hadn't gotten here…if she hadn't managed to text me…" I'm saying when my sentence drifts off as I think of the possibilities.

 **(DREW)**

"Have a good weekend everyone, see you Monday," the teacher says as we leave last period.

I get up and grab my bag, pulling my phone from my pocket to look at the notifications I got during class. I know one was a text and I'm expecting it to be Clare asking us to bring her something. Instead it's from Adam saying Eli went to the house and attacked Clare!

"We have to get to my house," I tell Owen grabbing his arm.

"What's wrong?" Bianca asks.

"Should we get Adam?" Dallas questions.

"Adam's already there, Eli went over and attacked Clare," I tell them.

"Shit," Owen breathes.

"Should we tell Jake?" Bianca asks.

"JAKE," I yell at him as he's walking down the hall.

He looks back with his brow furrowed, "WHAT?"

"MY PLACE NOW," I yell back as we're walking for the front doors.

I'm not actually sure he followed us, I'm already out the front doors and following Owen to his car. Bianca's isn't working again or I'd ride with her. I take shotgun, B and Dallas sit in back and Owen drives pretty fast to our place. There's two cop cars parked out front, and an ambulance is just leaving when we get there. I jump out of the car and run inside, Adam is on the sofa with Clare, tears streaming down her cheeks, she's shaking a little.

"We should go Dave, looks like Clare has plenty of friends here," Officer Turner says to Dave.

"Dave," Clare says and he looks at her, "tell Alli and Jenna please. Tell them I have plenty of people with me though, and I'll call them tomorrow."

"Of course, Clare. See you guys," Dave waves. We wave and they leave with the other officer that was here.

"What the hell happened?" I demand walking over to the sofa. Owen sits on the other side of Clare, Bianca and I sit on the chaise part of the sofa, Dallas opts to sit on the coffee table.

Clare takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes before looking up at us. "Eli heard you say that I'd be sleeping in your bed tonight. In his warped mind it meant we had slept together, and he came over to take what was his. He was intent on raping me, and he would have if Adam and Dave hadn't shown up when they did."

"We're lucky your text got through and we figured it out," Adam says.

"How badly did he hurt you? I see the bruises on your arms, and we saw the ambulance leaving," Dallas comments. I look at her arms and grit my teeth when I see the marks.

"There's another bruise on my sternum from his knee. He was pressing down so hard I couldn't breathe, I passed out. They gave me some oxygen, said to go in if I had no appetite or had a lot of pain in my stomach."

"Or unexplained swelling, they said it didn't seem like there were internal injuries, but they couldn't be sure," Adam tells us.

"Where's Eli now?" Owen asks.

"Arrested, his parents were called. Officer Turner will send an officer tomorrow to get our statements," Adam says.

We all look at each other and we're all silent for a minute. Then Jake comes through the door, he looks at all of us and then sees Clare. Jake asks what happened, Adam recounts it all, and I tell Jake she's sleeping here tonight. He tells Clare to call him if she needs him and he'll cover with their parents. She nods absentmindedly and he leaves. He wasn't of any help really, but it's good that he knows what happened, and can cover for her with their parents. I was tempted to chase after him and tell him about Fitz going through her window, but I don't. I doubt it will do much good, and I want confirmation from Clare that it is Fitz first.

"We should put on a movie or something. Order some pizzas since your parents are gone. Owen and I can at least stay for dinner," Bianca speaks up after a few minutes.

"Good idea, I'll start ordering some pizza. Adam pick out a movie, something you know Clare will like," I tell my brother.

I get out my phone to place a pizza order, Bianca grabs Clare some water, while Adam turns on the TV and finds a movie for us. Clare doesn't seem to be watching the movie, she seems to be spacing out. She's not crying though, and she does seem to feel safe with all of us.

When the pizza comes we pause the movie, Owen and I go up to the get the pizza, pop, plates and glasses. Clare only eats one slice, but at least she ate something. She does drink a lot of water, some pop, and does eat ice cream when Adam offers it to her.

"I have to get home for curfew," Bianca comments after the current movie we're watching.

"I'll take you, I should probably get home myself," Owen says standing up. "Call me if Eli attempts anything else, and I'll come by tomorrow."

"Yeah me too," Bianca says hugging Clare, "and if you need a girl to talk to call me anytime."

"Thanks, both of you," Clare says smiling a little.

I kiss Bianca goodbye, say goodbye to Owen, and he waves to the others. When they're out the door I look at Clare. "Do you want to watch another movie?"

"Actually, I'd like to shower, and go to bed," she says.

"You can use our shower, and borrow something of mine to sleep in," Adam tells her.

"Goodnight Clare," Dallas and I say together.

"Night," she says softly smiling a little.

They go upstairs, Dallas and I clean up before saying goodnight. I could sleep in my parents bed, but they'll know, so I get blankets and one of the spare pillows to sleep on the sofa in the living room. Then go up to my room to change the sheets for Clare and Adam comes in.

"If Eli tries to come back he'll have to get through me and Dallas first. There's no way to come up to my window from the outside, unless he brings a ladder," I tell Adam as he starts helping me change the sheets on my bed.

"I'd like to say Eli won't try anything else, but I never thought he'd go so far as to try and rape Clare. I'll be listening, if I hear anything I'll come in the room," Adam says. We hear the shower turn off, and just as we've finished making the bed Clare comes out of the washroom. "Feel better?" Adam asks her.

"A little, I think I washed as much of Eli off me as I could."

"I'll be right downstairs and Adam is right next door if you need anything."

"Thanks Drew," she smiles.

I smile back, grab some pajama bottoms and go into the washroom. I change and brush my teeth before going downstairs. I'm not tired though; I turn on the TV hoping to distract myself. It doesn't work, I'm thinking about Clare and Eli and Fitz. Wondering why Eli would go so far with a girl he supposedly loves. Wondering why Clare let's Fitz in her house and lets him abuse her and use her, and why she's still defending him. I'm determined to ask her. To find out from her, and I'm not letting her go home until I find out.

 **(CLARE)**

Try as I might, and safe though I felt here, I couldn't get to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I would see Eli's eyes. The way they looked at me, as though I was nothing, ready to take what he wanted. Take what he wanted by extreme force and with no regards to me. The look in his eyes, the moment I knew the Eli that I had loved wasn't in there at all, I don't think I've ever been more frightened.

After a while of tossing and turning, closing my eyes only to open them again, I get up. I pace the room and turn on the light. I start looking through Drew's room, but that feels like intruding. So, I go back to pacing, nervously pacing the length of the room. At least, until there's a soft knock on the door.

"It's just me, I'm coming in," Drew says quietly as he begins to open the door, "can't sleep?"

I shake my head.

"Come on, I don't want to wake Adam," Drew whispers.

He waits until I'm out of the room and turns off the light, then takes my hand and leads me downstairs. He has the TV on with the volume down, guess he couldn't sleep either. He turns on the kitchen light above the stove and mutes the TV but it's still on. We have some light, but it's not overpowering.

"It wasn't Eli this afternoon, not the boy I fell in love with. When he was on top of me and I looked in his eyes they were just vacant. Every time I close my eyes that's all I see."

"I'm sorry, I thought you'd be safe here," Drew apologizes.

"It's not your fault, you didn't know Eli was listening, or that he'd…snapped. If Eli had thought about it at all, if he'd stopped and taken a minute to think rationally, he'd know we weren't having sex. He'd realize you have Bianca and that you are very much in love with her. Also, that we'd never be able to have sex that night without our families knowing. Let alone that we'd barely spoken to each other until the elections. He's so angry, and spiteful, I don't know if it's because I was avoiding him or he's still stewing over Asher," I lament studying my fingers very closely.

"It doesn't matter, nothing excuses what he did, what he came over intent on doing. He had his mind set on raping you, I don't care what mental state he was in that's unforgivable. Eli was never very good at letting you go; I'll never understand what you saw in him. I get why he and Adam are friends, but I'll never understand what you saw in him. Just like I don't understand why you let Fitz in your window."

I realize he knows the other boy is Fitz and look up, "How'd you know?"

"I saw him looking at you at The Dot, at first I thought it was just that endless crush he had on you. Then when he brought our food he brushed the back of your neck. You looked all at once terrified and pleased by his touch. I pieced it together from what you had told me."

"I thought you supposed to be the dumb one," I remark twisting my mouth and he grins. He's waiting for an answer though and I sigh, "I don't exactly let him in my window, he crawls in. I've brought him home a couple times, usually he's just there when I return home."

"But why would you even bring him home? When you find him in your room why not scream or tell Jake. Although, not actually sure how well Jake could fight Fitz."

"I don't want Jake to fight Fitz, I don't want Fitz to get arrested or be in trouble for being in my room. He's beat up already, and he already sleeps in the ravine. Finding him get beat up is how this all started. The night of your party after pushing you in the pool and walking home angry I found Fitz getting beat on by four guys. I wouldn't have let that happen to anyone, but I know Fitz. I helped him fight them off and brought him back to my house."

"You didn't think it would be better to just call the cops or something? Call an ambulance for Fitz?"

"At the time, not really. I brought him up to my room, everyone was home upstairs in their rooms. I brought Fitz to my room, I wanted to see how bad his bruises were. He kept insisting that he was fine. I gripped his hoodie to take it off and he kissed me. It was sensuous and passionate, tender, and though probably fueled by the emotions of the evening I enjoyed the kiss. He stayed the night, slept on my floor, and we stayed up talking, I got to know him a little better before we both fell asleep. The next morning, knowing how bruised and banged up he was, I told him to stay at the house and rest instead of going to work. He kissed me again before I left my room to get ready for school. Then he went out the window while I was in the washroom, and went to work."

"But he came back? Or you found him again?"

"He came back, when I got home from school he was in my room, he kissed me again. We talked a little, I asked why he didn't stay and he said he had to get to work. He asked about elections, and when I went downstairs for ice he vanished again."

"But that wasn't the end of it," Drew prods. I realize he's not going to let this go, and I'll have to tell him everything. At the same time, it's good to be telling someone.

"The next day I was home alone and I heard a noise, it was Fitz. He'd run into his stepbrother again, been beaten again. He refused to go to the hospital despite being beaten so badly in the last couple of days. I took care of him as best as I could, while worried that he had some other hidden injuries from the beatings. He took a bath, and when he came back was only wrapped in a towel. I told him I would go get ice and he kissed me again. It was passionate, and exciting, and scary too. I knew he was worked up after the fight, I could feel that adrenaline, and anger I suppose, in the kiss. He took me to the bed, his towel fell away, I began to get nervous, but I didn't pull out of the kiss. Not until his hand was about to go under my bra. I told him I needed to get some ice, he said he needed me, before I could say anything he was kissing me again. He was kissing me much harder this time."

"He didn't give you a chance to say no, I still call that rape," Drew comments.

"I didn't push him off me, I didn't even resist kissing him back."

"He knew you were scared, that you weren't ready, he should have stopped," Drew growls. I bite my lip and look away, Drew takes a breath. "Then what? That's when he ate you isn't it? You were at our place the next day."

"Fingers and then tongue, it was scary, but in the moment it felt good. It was my first orgasm which felt amazing, but afterwards I felt…" I bite my lip again, not sure how to describe how I felt. Worried, ashamed, panicked even, but how do I explain it to Drew. "Fitz was still hurt, and despite his protests I knew what we'd done hurt him. I got him some ice, and that's when I saw his backpack. I thought he was living out of it."

"You didn't talk about what had just happened. Did he ask you if it was okay? If it was what you wanted? How you felt?" Drew asks.

I shake my head; truth is I really didn't want to talk about it after it happened. I was worried that I'd break down, and just as worried that I'd want him to do it again, and worried that he'd hurt himself more.

"Was he living out of his backpack?" Drew questions after a minute.

"He said it was just enough for a few days, that he'd keep his stuff in his car if it was running. That's when he told me he'd been sleeping in the ravine some nights. We watched a movie on my laptop, I fell asleep before it was over. When I woke up Fitz was gone. I spent the day at your house after Adam called, talked to you and Bianca. I was afraid of seeing Fitz in my room when I got back, but I also hoped he would be there."

"How could you hope that after what he did?"

 **Chapter seven is up…happy reading!**


	7. Every Boy I've Ever had Breaks My Heart

**Please read A/Ns in chapter 6 if you have not already done so.**

 **Ch. 7** **Every Boy I've Ever had Breaks My Heart & Leaves Me Sad**

 **(CLARE)**

"I…I just…it's hard to explain, I'm not sure you'd understand. I'm not even sure I understand. He wasn't there that night, I didn't see him at all and I spent all night worried that he'd run into Steve again. I was worried that he was too hurt to come to my house. Jennifer was outside The Dot the next day and the rest of you found out about Asher. Thinking about Asher, my deposition, it soured my mood for the rest of the day. Fitz was there when I got home that night, kissing me as soon as I came in the door. I told him to stop and pushed him away, and he did," I tell Drew looking at him.

"He stopped once, during a kiss," Drew replies with a tight jaw.

"We sort of fought over it, he had slept in the ravine again. I gave him ice for his bruises and did my homework. I was in a bad mood though, and Fitz left my room when I went to shower. I didn't see him again until yesterday, I got home and took a shower, and well you know the rest."

"Yeah, he raped you," Drew says bitterly.

"He didn't…"

"Didn't let you say no, that's rape Clare. For some reason you care about Fitz, but if he cared about you then he would have stopped. He would have asked if it was okay, if it was what you wanted. He would have controlled himself Clare," Drew tells me in a stern but caring voice.

"He was hurt, badly hurt, he was incited by emotion and energy from being victimized by his stepfather. His stepfather whipped him with the buckle side of his belt. You didn't see his back Drew, covered in welts, his stomach covered in bruises."

"He was victimized and then made you the victim by not allowing you the chance to say no," Drew says and I look away again. "It sucks that his family sucks, that his home life is nothing but abuse. I feel bad for him Clare, but it doesn't give him the right to take it out on you. There are programs and people that can help Fitz. You shouldn't be sacrificing yourself for Fitz. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one Clare, why do you keep letting him in?"

"I…he…there's…" I stumble over my words and bite my lip. Why do I keep allowing Fitz in my room? After all he's done why do I want him still? "I don't know alright. There's a part of me that is afraid of him, but also a part of me that wants to be with him. If I could understand it and put it into words I would."

"You know that he hurts you right? You know that he's bad for you, that he hurts you."

"I know," I sigh, "but, so has every other man in my life."

"What are you talking about?"

"I thought my father was the ideal man, kind, hardworking, loving…or so it seemed. I get betrayed when I find out about my parents divorce, his affair, his emotional abuse toward my mother. My father was not at all the man I thought he was. K.C. left me for Jenna without a second thought, teenage hormones overriding anything else I suppose. And, then there was Eli, he's hurt me more than anyone possibly and yet when there was a spark of hope I wanted him back. He wanted me, he needed me, it felt nice, he made me feel good. I didn't see the controlling behavior or emotional abuse until it was too late. Jake was…a rebound doesn't even begin to cover it, but as a boyfriend he really wasn't that much better than Eli. He's okay as a brother at least. After everything Eli put me through, when we were together and when we weren't, I wanted to be back with him. For a while things were great, but Asher was the beginning of the downfall. Other things came into play of course, but that was the beginning, and his abuse was worse this time."

"So," Drew says slowly, "you think because most of the men in your life were crap you deserve to be hurt? That's crap Clare and you know it. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. Asher is a pedophile creep that abused his power. Your father may have fallen out of love with your mom, but he never stopped loving you I'm sure of that. K.C. was an idiot, and Eli well I never understood you two. I don't think you and Jake were ever meant to be more than siblings. They are not the only men in your life Clare. What about Glen?"

"He loves my mom, he's a good man, and a good stepfather I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"He doesn't much pay attention to what I do. He parents Jake and Mom parents me."

"Okay, what about Adam? And, don't tell me he's not a man in your life."

"Of course he is, possibly the only one that's been there through so much of it, the last two years anyway. Adam is probably as close to a perfect man as there is, and my best friend. If I didn't think of him like a brother I'm sure he'd be a wonderful boyfriend. One good man in my life does not make for much of an example. Besides Adam doesn't see me that way, he's a wonderful friend though, and I am grateful for him."

"Adam's not the only one, we might be fairly new as friends, but you have me. You have Owen, and other friends like Dave," Drew says.

I smile and kiss his cheek, "That's sweet Drew, and I'm glad to count you among my friends now. Bianca too, I'm grateful for both your friendships. Owen is a good guy…I think, but he's only taking me to prom, I really don't know him at all. I don't think I can count him among the men in my life. Dave is nice, and we are friends, but he and Connor, and Wesley I wouldn't really say are men in my life. Spinner is I suppose, he's been sort of in and out of my life over the years, I would say more dancing on the edge of the circle of my life. So, they either all hurt me, leave me, or float in and out at their convenience. All but Adam, I'd probably be more of a mess without Adam. If I was at all sexually attracted to girls I'd probably be a lesbian."

"That'd be hot," Drew grins and I smack his arm. "What, it would be hot. I still don't understand why you let Fitz in, or keep letting him in. I don't understand what you see in him, or what keeps drawing you to him, but my point is you shouldn't be letting Fitz hurt you."

"I know," I exhale.

"You think you can sleep now?"

"Yeah," I yawn, "I think so. Goodnight Drew, thanks for staying up with me and talking with me."

"No problem Clare, get some sleep."

I leave Drew and return to his room, I get back into his bed and pull the covers up. I am tired and my eyes close, sleep does not come so easily. I don't see Eli's eyes now, but my mind is burdened and I cannot sleep. Eventually, I succumb to sleep, but it was not an easy battle.

I'm jolted awake by loud noises downstairs, in the dreariness of sleep it takes me a moment to remember where I am. Remember that I fell asleep sometime after dawn in Drew's bed. I can tell it's late in the day, but there's no clock in Drew's room, and my phone is still downstairs somewhere. I get up and use the washroom, find my clothes and dress before venturing downstairs. I hear Drew, Adam, Dallas, Owen and Bianca as I come downstairs.

"I was beginning to think you'd sleep all day," Adam remarks.

"Sorry," I apologize looking at the clock on the microwave to see that it's after two in the afternoon.

"It's okay, you needed the rest. Are you hungry? We're making sandwiches for lunch," Drew says.

"I am hungry," I nod.

I go to the counter and make myself a sandwich, grab some chips and juice. Owen gets up from the table and pulls my chair out for me. I smile at him and sit down, eating and listening to the others talk. When I'm almost done eating Adam's phone rings, he answers and talks for a moment before hanging up.

"That was Officer Turner, two detectives are on their way over to get our statements," Adam tells me.

"Oh," I nod.

I put my dishes in the dishwasher, glad that they called when I was done eating. A few minutes later the doorbell rings and two detectives come in. A male detective takes Adam to the basement to give his statement. I stay in the kitchen with D.C. Parker to give my statement. Drew, Dallas, Owen and Bianca go out while we give our statements. It takes less than an hour, but it's hard to go through it all again, especially after what Drew and I talked about last night. I have to distance myself from it all to get through it without breaking down.

When we're both done with statements and the detectives have gone Adam sends a text to Drew. They return and we go down to the basement to watch movies. I spend all day at Adam's with everyone, we don't do much, mostly watch movies. I do call Alli and Jenna to let them know I'm okay, but we don't talk for long. No one says anything about Eli all day, and of course Drew says nothing about Fitz. Though, having had to give my statement Eli stays on my mind a little while. Owen does a rather good job of getting me to laugh though. I appreciate his efforts, and it does get my mind from Eli and his attack, for the time being anyway.

With Audra and Omar gone until tomorrow I sleep here again, and this night sleep comes easy. I have no thoughts of Eli or Fitz, I don't even dream of them, and sleep peacefully and deeply all night.

"You can stay here for the day, my parents will be home later this afternoon, we'll just say you came over," Adam says when I leave Drew's room Sunday morning.

"Thanks Adam, but Alli and Jenna are coming dress shopping with me. I need something to wear to prom now after all. Anyway, my mom is going to want me home tonight, and Jake can only cover for me for so long."

"Have some breakfast at least," Adam says.

"I will, I'm just going to get dressed and I'll come down and have breakfast," I smile.

He grins and returns to his room while I go into the washroom. When I come out I get dressed and go downstairs to eat. Drew and Dallas are already eating breakfast, they grin at me when I sit down. Adam joins us a few minutes later, and I text Alli while I'm eating.

"If you insist on going home tonight be careful, I think you've been hurt enough in the last few days," Drew says as I gather my things from his room.

"I'll be okay, I'll see you at school tomorrow," I assure Drew just as the doorbell rings. "That's Alli and Jenna," I remark leaving Drew's room. I hug him and Adam goodbye and wave to Dallas before leaving with Alli and Jenna.

"Eli really snapped this time, totally and completely snapped this time," Alli comments as she begins driving.

"Are those bruises from Eli?" Jenna asks.

"Yes, I'm just glad that Adam got my text and was able to interpret it. Let's not talk about it please, I'd rather not think about it while I'm picking out a prom dress. It's bad enough that I'll have to see Eli at school tomorrow."

"Sorry, you're right, no more talk about Eli. Let's find you a great prom dress, one that will leave Owen drooling," Alli smiles.

I laugh and shake my head, I'm fairly certain that Drew had influence in Owen asking me to prom. I'm not going to Alli and Jenna that though, they would have so very many questions. Anyway, it was sweet of Drew to think of me, and sweet of Owen to ask even though we hardly know each other.

I spend most of the day at the mall with Alli and Jenna. I don't have a lot of money to spend, I wasn't exactly expecting to go to prom. After much looking, and trying on dresses, stopping for snacks, and contemplating, I finally find a dress. It's a halter dress that goes to my knees, the v-neckline goes a little lower than I would like. It's silvery blue in color, reminds me a bit of snowfall early in the morning. I'll wear black heels that I already own, and jewelry I already own. Mom may even let me borrow her pearls. My shopping trip successful the three of us go to dinner. Alli drops me off after dinner and as soon as I come in Mom rushes over to me.

"Thank goodness you're okay, I've arranged for a lawyer. I can't believe he would attack you that way. He won't get away with this, I intend to press charges for everything," Mom comments hugging me tightly. I suck in a breath as she squeezes my bruises.

"Helen let her breathe," Glen scolds.

"Adam and I gave statements Mom, he's been arrested."

"Arrested isn't good enough," Mom says taking my hand and pulling me to the table. "I spoke to a lawyer and found out about all our options."

I sigh and slump back, preparing for what I'm sure will be a long ranting talk.

 **(FITZ)**

"You're shift is over Fitz, take off. No overworking yourself, you're liable to make yourself sick, and then you won't be able to work," Spinner says.

"Yeah, I'm off, see you tomorrow Spin," I comment walking back to the employee lounge.

I take off my Dot t-shirt and change back into my black one. I grab my backpack and walk out the back. I'm not headed home or the ravine, I go to Clare's. I swung by Friday night, she wasn't there and never returned, so I left when her family fell asleep. I slept in the ravine, and went back last night, again no Clare, though I heard Jake say she was sleeping at Alli's. I slept at the ravine again, and worked all day. Now it's Sunday and I doubt Clare will be sleeping at Alli's again tonight.

Her house is quiet when I get there, appears the rest of her family is out. I go through her window as always, closing her door. I set my pack down out of sight, take off my boots and socks and lie on her bed. I intend to stay awake and wait for her, but I'm more tired than I realize. I fall asleep without meaning to, and before Clare gets home. I shouldn't have, it was careless and risky, her parents or Jake could have discovered me at any time. They would have had me arrested for breaking and entering I'm sure.

I wake to noises downstairs, voices, one of them is Clare's. Her mom is talking too, not sure where her stepdad is, downstairs I suppose, but he's not talking. Jake is in his room, I can tell because he's got music on. I go to the door listening, but I can't tell what's going on. They almost seem to be arguing, but their voices aren't ever loud enough to hear what they're saying. There definitely seems to be a disagreement though. After some more talking, or disagreeing I hear someone walking to the stairs.

"Mom, I don't want to talk about this anymore, not tonight," Clare says angrily and starts storming up the stairs.

I open her door just a little, hiding behind it, waiting for her to come to her room. She pushes it open, steps in and closes her door. As soon as she does I take her in my arms and kiss her passionately. She kisses me back for a moment, but when I hold her closer she makes a painful cry and I step away.

"What's wrong?" I question.

"It's nothing, but I'm tired, you can stay if you want, you'll need to sleep on the floor," she says stepping away from me. She goes to her bed, slips off her shoes and sets down her bags before lying down. She hasn't turned out the light or anything, she just lies down quietly.

"Should I go?"

"You don't have to, I'm just tired. I can get the comforter for you to sleep," she says.

"It's barely seven," I comment.

"Right, with all the arguing with my mom I forgot it was so early. We can watch a movie on my laptop then," she says getting up.

I'm still not sure she wants me here, but she gets her laptop and sets it on the end of her bed again. I sit on the edge of her bed while she picks out a movie for us to watch. She puts on a really old movie, and leans back, it starts playing and I look at her. She looks sort of blank, but she also has bruises on her arms, nearly symmetrical bruises.

"You get beat up at Alli's or something?" I question half-joking, brushing my finger gently over her bruise.

"No," she says pulling her arm away and turning on her side.

"Wait, is that bruise in the shape of a hand? What happened?"

"It's fine," she replies.

"Which is what I say every time you see me with bruises and you never listen to me. Clare, please tell me what happened, who hurt you?"

"Eli," she whispers and my chest tightens. "He deduced that I'd lost my virginity and was angry. He mistakenly thought it was Drew, he knew I was at Adam's Friday afternoon after lunch. While everyone else was in class he came over to Adam's and meant to rape me. I fought back, but he pressed his knee so hard into my stomach, just below my ribs he cut off my air. I passed out," she says wiping away her tears.

"Did he rape you?" I question fearing her answer and feeling the hate I have for Eli intensify.

"No, I got a partial text to Adam, he and Dave came in the nick of time."

I growl and get up walking for her door, "I'm going to kill him."

"Fitz stop," she says catching me before I reach her door, "he was arrested, I pressed charges. I don't want you to fight with Eli, I never did."

"He hurt you, he was going to rape you, being arrested is not enough. I bet he won't even be held, he'll be at school with you tomorrow."

"I know, but I won't be alone, and you…" she says sounding almost angry when she said the last two words, but stops midsentence and bites her lip. I arch my eyebrow waiting for her to finish. "You should come watch the movie with me," she replies pulling at my hand to go back to the bed. I won't budge and she looks at me, I flip on the light near her door and she squints in the sudden light.

"Let me see the bruise on your stomach," I request. She looks down and lifts her shirt, I see a deep bruise on her stomach. The sight sickens me, I've been bruised plenty, but seeing her beaten makes me sick. "Weren't you always warning me about bruises on the stomach?"

"I'm okay, some paramedics looked at me, told me what to watch for. It's a bad bruise, but I'm fine, can we watch the movie now?"

"What about icing them? And, that cream you kept rubbing on me? Tell me where it is and I can get it."

"Fitz, you can't go out there, my family might see you. I'll get the cream, stay here, and please let's not talk about this again tonight," she pleads.

"Fine, I'll wait for you here," I give in opening the door for her and waiting behind it.

She goes out and into the washroom, before she comes back I hear Jake's door open. I make sure I'm well hidden behind the door as they meet in the hallway.

"How are you? Is there anything I can do?" Jake asks.

"No, I just need some rest," Clare replies.

"Eli was released, he'll be at school tomorrow," Jake tells her.

"I know, I'll be okay. He has to take finals too, and I won't be alone at school tomorrow."

There's a few seconds of silence, he must hug her or something. Then she pushes her door open and he goes into their washroom. When she's in I close and lock the door behind her, just to be safe. She goes to her bed, sitting once more and I join her. While she gets comfortable watching the movie again I rub the cream into her bruises, as she's done for me before. When I'm done I put the cream on her desk and turn off her light before sitting on the bed again.

We watch the movie together, but she really must have been tired, she's asleep before the movie has ended. I watch it to the end, then shut down her laptop, and place it back on her desk. Clare fell asleep fully clothed, so I get her under the covers. She never did bring in blankets for me, and I decide I should go and let her sleep. It's easy to get down, and her parents are upstairs now, so it's easy to sneak out. I go back to the ravine, sleeping by the fire for yet another night.

I set an alarm to get to work on time, it's not needed as I wake with the dawn. I'm tired and I need a shower before work, so I go into the school to shower there. Not the best place, but at least I get clean. I walk out of the back of school and straight to The Dot, I work seven to four again today. Spin won't be on until later, but Alice opened today and there's already a rush.

Part of me hopes that Eli comes in, then again I can't attack him at work. So, I hope he doesn't show his face in here, I'll be tempted to smash it into the counter. Three people to come in surprisingly early are Drew, Adam and Dallas.

"Coffee, lot of coffee," Dallas yawns.

"Three mochas and three ham and cheese croissants," Drew orders for them. I ring then up and Drew gives me some money.

"Clare and Jake will be leaving the house in ten minutes she says," Adam informs his brother after looking at his phone.

"We'll be at the school, what about Eli?" Drew asks as I hand him some change.

"Haven't heard a word," Adam replies.

"Maybe he'll be too cowardly to show up," Dallas comments.

"I doubt it, and I still think she should have slept at our house again," Drew remarks.

"She's been at your house all weekend?" I inquire without thinking, and then realize I shouldn't have. No one knows about me and Clare, or so I thought. Adam shoots me a look, but Drew gives me a dirty glare.

"Adam, get the coffees will you?" Drew requests. Adam shrugs and goes down to the other end of the counter to get the coffees from Alice. Then Drew narrows his eyes at me and leans in lowering his voice, "Yes, and I know what you did to her."

"What I d…" I begin to question, but he cuts me off.

"If you know what's good for you stay away from Clare," Drew threatens.

He grabs the pastries and the three of them leave the café. I watch them go wondering what Drew knows and why he threatened me?

 **Update soon picking up from about here, likely in Clare's pov. The next two chapters will also probably be the last for this story. As per usual I'm letting you guys vote on the replacement. Four stories to choose from, three of which are crossovers and one is a Slare story. Cast your votes, vote often, winner will be announced with the last chapter of this story.**


	8. You Can Have Me Or Leave Me Alone

**I hope you guys enjoy these last two chapters.**

 **Keep an eye on my the homepage of the DeGrassi Saviors site. I'll be adding some new things soon.**

 **Ch.8 You Can Have Me Or Leave Me Alone**

 **(CLARE)**

Waking with a jolt I fall from my bed, hitting my floor with a thump. It's very early, no one else is awake, and my falling out of bed didn't wake them. Mom sleeps with earplugs because Glen snores, and Jake can sleep through almost anything. Although, he does have a tendency to wake up at the oddest noises or if he smells food.

While I get up off the floor I realize that I fell asleep in my clothes, and that Fitz must have put me under the blanket. I also wonder where Fitz is? He's nowhere in my room, I don't think he even slept here. He must have slept in the ravine, I wish he had slept here though, maybe then I wouldn't have had the nightmare about Eli attacking me.

I'm not going to be able to get back to sleep, it's too early to go anywhere, and I'm not hungry. So, I go into the washroom I share with Jake and start the shower. I take a very long shower, and spend most of the shower sitting on the tub floor. My ankles crossed, my knees drawn to my chest, my head down, tears flowing. When the water turns cold I turn it off, I washed up a little, I didn't wash my hair though.

"Clare?" Jake knocks on the door as I'm wrapping myself in a towel. I tuck the end of the towel in and open the door. "When did you get up?"

"I'm not sure," I reply while Jake looks at the bruises on my arms.

He gives me a sympathetic look and goes into the washroom. I return to my room, a part of me hoping to find Fitz there, but I don't of course. I sit on my bed still wrapped in the towel, still wet. I'm feeling very unmotivated to do anything. I think it's mostly that the nightmare, which I can't fully remember other than Eli attacking me, is still haunting me. While I sit there trying to shake the nightmare, or possibly remember it so I know why it's bothering me so much, my phone lights up.

 **Adam: Drew and I couldn't sleep, we dragged Dallas up and we're going to grab breakfast at The Dot. If you want to meet us there we can all head to school together?**

Adam's text makes me smile, and I do want to be around my friends. I'm sure Jake would be okay leaving early.

 **Clare: Didn't sleep great either, and I know Jake is awake. We'll get ready and I'll text you when we're on our way.**

Before I get Jake I decide I'd better get dressed. It'll be a pretty warm day, so I choose a summer dress, red with cap sleeves and blue flowers, but panties and a bra first. Once I'm dressed I leave my room, I'm about to knock on Jake's door when Glen comes out of his room.

"You're up early," he remarks.

"Woke up from a bad dream, we're going to meet Adam, Drew and Dallas at The Dot," I tell him. Glen nods with an understanding smile and goes downstairs, before I can knock Jake opens his door.

"Torres boys, Dot, I heard," Jake yawns, "I'll get ready."

He walks past me to get to the washroom, so I return to my room. Jake is ready first, just before I go into the washroom to finish getting ready I text Adam. I tell him that we'll be there in ten minutes. Thankfully, my mom is in the shower when we leave, or I'm sure she'd continue going on about Eli as she did last night.

"Did you sleep at all?" Jake asks as he begins driving.

"Yeah, I slept pretty well until a nightmare. I don't even really remember it, except that Eli was attacking me, and the look in his eyes when he was. I don't remember anything else, though I'm sure there was more to the dream."

"If he gets within ten feet of you today th…"

"Jake he's not going to attack me at school, not like that anyway. I have one final today, one on Wednesday and no classes with Eli. If he comes near me again I know where to kick him."

"If he does try anything today you'd better go straight to Simpson."

I just nod and look at the window as we approach The Dot. Drew, Adam and Dallas are inside, so Jake parks and we go in. Fitz is working, but barely looks at me. I want to ask him where he slept last night? Why he left? It's not as though I can just walk up and ask him though, that would draw too much attention. I start to walk to the counter and Drew catches my arm, of course he's the only one that knows about me and Fitz.

"What do you want Clare? I'll get it for you," Drew offers.

"Okay, thanks Drew, just a cinnamon mocha please. I'm not that hungry," I tell him.

Drew and Jake go to the counter while I sit with Adam and Dallas. Adam still doesn't know why Eli attacked me, other than Eli being jealous. It wasn't too hard for Adam to accept that explanation after Eli's previous actions centered around jealousy.

"Did you have a bad dream or did you just wake up really early?" Adam questions.

"Both," I reply.

"You going to be okay at school today? Your afternoon classes are independent study, I'm sure you could make up your final for media studies," Adam comments.

"I'll be alright, I don't have any classes with Eli, and I don't plan to go anywhere near him."

"Owen already told the team to make sure Eli doesn't get within four yards of you," Dallas yawns.

"He did?" Adam and I ask at the same time.

"Yeah, sent a text out last night. Eli thinks about getting near you then one of the team will be there," Dallas grins.

"Clare why don't you ride over with us," Drew says handing me my coffee. I shrug and get up following them out, Jake follows us. As we walk past the window to their car I see Fitz giving me an odd look. I wonder if he's wondering why Drew is so protective all of a sudden?

I sit in the backseat with Adam, sipping my coffee while Drew makes the short drive to the school. Jake follows us in his truck and parks next to us, we get out and I grab my backpack from Jake's truck. We start walking to the front doors, and I see Eli waiting on the front steps.

"Let's take the garden entrance," Adam says pulling my arm gently. We all go through the garden and everyone comes with me and Adam to our lockers. Just as I start opening my locker I see Eli watching us from the end of the hall, he doesn't say anything though, doesn't come over, just watches.

"Hey, I need to get your corsage for prom, and rent a tux. What color is your dress?" Owen asks as he joins our group.

"Sort of a silvery blue, like an early morning snow."

"Cool," Owen grins and then moves closer to me, "if Eli doesn't stop staring at us I'm going to go over and punch his face in."

"No, you won't, he's just watching. Besides if you get in trouble for fighting with Eli you might not be able to go to prom," I tell Owen.

"We can head to class early," Adam offers as we both close our lockers.

"No, he might follow you two in if no one else is there," Drew argues, "walk with us to our lockers. We can hang out in the memorial garden until the bell."

"How long do you think Drew is going to be my personal watch dog?" I ask Adam under my breath.

"At least until school's out probably," Adam replies back and I shake my head. It's annoying, but I can't really blame Drew either. He knows everything about me and Fitz, and after Eli's attack Friday, that nearly sent me to the hospital, I suppose it's understandable.

Bianca's at her locker and greets Drew with a kiss. The guys get what they need from their lockers, and we go to the memorial garden. When the bell rings Adam and I walk to homeroom, and we don't see Eli. We don't have a final until next period, so this class is all review for our final on Wednesday.

Our media studies final is quite easy, I finish early and Miss Oh says I can go to lunch. Adam finishes at almost the same time I do, and Dave just after him. The three of us put away our backpacks and go to the caf for lunch. After the bell rings we're joined by Alli, Jenna, Wes, Hannah and Connor. I don't see Eli at all at lunch, Adam comes with me to my locker after lunch.

"You don't present until Thursday, maybe you should go home," Adam comments.

"Eli does have class," I reply.

"He had class on Friday too, he could easily find you in the library or something," Adam says.

"Which is why she'll be working in the student council office, it locks," Drew speaks up holding a key over my shoulder.

"Thanks Drew," I smile.

"It's your key, you're the Veep, just lock it behind you. I have a key and of course Simpson, just close the blinds and stay in there," Drew instructs. I twist my mouth at him for treating me like a kid. "Don't give me that look, he was ready to rape you Friday and very nearly sent you to the hospital. Given all his past behavior we are not overreacting."

"Fine, I see your point, I have to go to the washroom though. Neither of you can follow me in there, and you both have class in a couple minutes," I point out. They still come with me to the washroom, but don't follow me in. I use the washroom, wash my hands, try to get an unruly curl to tame, give up and leave the washroom. Adam and Drew are gone, Luke and Dallas are there, glaring at Eli who seems to be waiting for me. "You weren't kidding, you guys really are on Eli watch," I remark as I begin walking to the student council office.

"Can't have Eli hurting our buddies prom date," Dallas says.

"Uh-huh, you guys will stop this right?"

"There's only a few days of school left," Luke replies.

I shake my head, but do take the long way to the student council office. Eli does stop following us when the late bell rings. My hockey player escort takes me all the way to student council and doesn't leave until I've locked myself inside. My independent study project is nearly done. When you have two full periods for nothing but independent study, and the parameters for your final project are very loose, well let's just say the project came together easily. In fact, as I've completed it before the bell rings for last period I head to Miss Oh's classroom. Most of the kids are still attending co-op until Thursday or Friday. A few are in here working on their final papers. As I stopped attending co-op less than halfway through the semester (because my mentor turned out to be a lying-conniving-pedophile) I was excused from the paper.

"Miss Oh, my project is done, I'm ready to present," I tell her.

"Okay, great, I'll talk to Principal Simpson and maybe you can present tomorrow afternoon instead of Thursday. You can go home for the day if you like, as your other classes are done."

I nod and close the door, I don't really feel like going home, but as the bell rings for last period I decide to go find Jake. He'll probably let me take the truck home, he can walk or get a ride from someone. Jake says it's fine for me to take the truck and Drew says they'll bring Jake home, and they both remind me to lock all the doors.

I go home and spend the afternoon on my laptop. Jake gets home right after school and Mom is home early. Glen is working late, so Mom takes us to dinner. When we return home I'm hoping to find Fitz in my room, but he isn't there, and doesn't come all night. I have trouble sleeping, and spend most of the night worried about where Fitz is.

 **(FITZ)**

"I hear you're taking Clare to prom," I comment to Owen as I ring him up. It's Thursday and it's lunchtime at DeGrassi.

"Yeah, she's sweet and hot, I could definitely do worse. Anyway, it was Drew's idea," Owen tells me.

"Drew wanted to fix you two up just before you leave for school?" I question. Owen was really proud when he got accepted to university, he talked about it for at least a week.

"I have all summer, besides it's just a date, Drew's trying to keep her away from some guy. Some guy that's not Eli," Owen tells me as I hand him his change.

"I wasn't aware Drew cared so much about the company Clare keeps," I remark while start making Owen's milkshake. I actually was aware Drew suddenly cared about who Clare hangs out with. I've only been aware since Monday when he threatened me though.

"I dunno, she's Adam's best friend, and they will be running student council next year," Owen shrugs.

I nod and hand him his milkshake, he takes it and sits down waiting for his food. Alice takes Owen his food when it's ready. As always there's a steady stream of kids throughout DeGrassi's lunch time. Some come for food, others sweets or afternoon coffee or just joining their friends. Anyone without a spare third period rushes back to DeGrassi before the bell. Now there's only a couple kids in the café, and it's time for my lunch.

I take off my apron, poke my head into the kitchen and ask them to make me a burger. Going into the employee lounge I clock out for lunch, and then use the washroom. Then I open my locker and my backpack, taking out a beer I took from the ravine cooler this morning. Spinner would not be happy if he saw me with it at work, but it's not like I plan to eat in the café. I slip the beer into my jeans pocket and wait by the kitchen for a couple minutes until my burger is ready. I go outside sitting on the steps to club to eat my lunch. I set the beer next to me and the box with my burger on my lap, open it and start eating. I've only taken a couple bites when I'm interrupted.

"Where have you been?" Clare demands.

"Here," I reply without looking up her, "you've seen me at work."

"That's not what I mean. Where have you been sleeping?"

"What does it matter?"

"How can you say that? After everything? You were there when I fell asleep Sunday night, when I woke up Monday morning after a nightmare you've disappeared."

"You were tired, you were hurt after Eli's attack, I didn't think you needed me there. I've been sleeping in the ravine, it's fine. I didn't think you wanted me back in your room at all after Drew threatened me," I reply before taking a large bite of my burger.

"What do you mean Drew threatened you?"

I finish chewing and then take a large swig of beer before answering her, "Monday morning, told me to stay away from you."

She sighs and leans on the banister very close to me. She smells like vanilla and cinnamon, I want so very badly to kiss her, to take her into the club and taste every inch of her. Instead, I take another swig of beer and keep looking at my burger while I eat.

"Drew knows," she says quietly.

"Yeah, I figured that out when he threatened me. I'm not dumb," I shoot back before taking the last bite of my burger.

"I never said you were, and I didn't tell Drew it was you. I told him some things, but never gave him your name, he figured that out for himself. He's not that dumb either," she says angrily.

I stand up and toss my empty box in the dumpster back here. Walking to the very back of the alley to finish chugging my beer. Clare is stubborn though and follows me down the alley.

"Don't tell me you've been sleeping in the ravine because you're afraid of Drew. It's not as though he's at my house, if you're not afraid of my parents or Jake finding you th…"

"So, why is Drew threatening me? Why is he setting you up for prom with Owen? Eli attacked you, not me, shouldn't he be protecting you from Eli?"

"Drew thinks you're bad for me, sneaking in when you need to, going farther than I was ready for."

"You could have told me to stop," I remark and she looks down rubbing her right arm and biting her lip. "Do you regret it? Do you hate me now? Is that what you told Drew? Is that why you told Drew? You could've just told me to stop coming around, like I said the ravine is fine."

"That isn't fair," she says while I chuck my empty beer can into the recycling bin. "I don't hate you, I've been worried. That's just not how I pictured losing my virginity. I wasn't ready, Eli found out and got angry and Drew was worried b…"

I've resisted long enough, I grab her and kiss her hard. Holding her to me, her hands grip my shirt and she responds to the kiss. Her lips part, her body sort of melting to mine, I taste her lips, her tongue, and I want more.

"Fitz, stop," she says pushing me away suddenly. She doesn't look angry, but she wants to talk more, and I don't feel like talking. I walk past her and walk quickly to the back door of the cafe. "Fitz," she calls after me, but I'm already inside.

The door closes behind me and I go straight to the employee lounge. Clare doesn't follow, I didn't think she would. I still have a few minutes before I need to clock in. I grab a couple breath mints, so I don't smell like beer and sit in the lounge looking at my phone until just before I need to clock in. After I clock back in, i grab a bottled water from the fridge and send Alice on lunch. Try as I might I can't get Clare off my mind for the rest of the day.

I consider going to her house after work, but I don't. I head to the ravine instead, I'll have to hit an all night laundromat tonight, what little clothes I keep with me need to get washed. I really need to go home and grab some more clothes, even if I have to keep most of them in my car. I've almost got enough set away, and apart from my future apartment money, to get the car running again.

 **(CLARE)**

"You look gorgeous," Owen says when I open my door Saturday evening. Tonight is prom and he's picking me up in his car. He's dressed very nicely in a suit with a silver tie.

"Thank you, you look very handsome yourself. You'll have to come in, my mom's been dying to get pictures all afternoon," I tell him stepping aside so that he can enter. Jake already left, not for prom though, he's out with friends tonight.

"Here," Owen says taking my corsage from the box and putting it on my wrist. It's white roses with little purple flowers and wrapped with silver and white ribbon.

"Oh, it's lovely, Clare stand next to him so I can get a picture," Mom insists. Of course she's already snapping pictures.

Mom takes pictures for nearly five minutes straight before she lets us leave. I'm not bringing a coat, we'll be in doors and it's a warm evening. Owen opens the passenger car door for me before going around to the driver's side and we begin driving to prom. It's being held at a hotel, not a very fancy hotel, but a decently nice one with a good ballroom. Other than music playing in the car we are totally silent on the drive, Owen and I really have nothing in common, and it seems, nothing to talk about.

When we pass The Dot I start thinking about Fitz, I didn't see him working, although it was hard to see in as we drove past. I haven't seen Fitz at all since Thursday afternoon when we argued. I've been pretty worried about him, even if he's angry at me it's odd to see no sign of him at all. I even went to The Dot yesterday, but he either wasn't working or was on break when I stopped in.

When we get to the hotel Owen pulls up to the valet, and a valet attendant comes over to help me out of the car. Owen comes over offering me his arm and we walk into the hotel. We find the correct ballroom and Owen gives our tickets to the students working the door.

"We should find our table and get some food, I believe we're sitting with Bianca, Drew and Dallas," Owen says over the music.

"Yeah, I'm hungry," I nod.

Owen looks around and seems to spot one of them as we begin walking in a specific direction. When we get to the table I see Drew with Bianca, and Dallas, there's also a girl's purse on the empty chair next to him, so Dallas must have a date.

"You two look great," Bianca grins.

"Yeah, I knew you two would make a hot couple," Dallas grins.

"Where's Kami?" Owen asks Dallas while he pulls out my chair for me.

"Washroom, we should be getting dinner in a minute," Dallas says.

"You should probably know that Eli's here," Drew informs me, "we saw him coming in alone when we got here."

"He won't get near you, I'll kill him first," Owen responds.

"I don't think he's going to try anything at prom," I comment.

Before anyone else can say anything dinner is brought over and they take our drink order. Kami returns from the washroom, I recognize her now, she's on the girl's softball team and also a cheerleader. The guys do most of the talking over dinner, Kami mostly stays quiet, I do talk to Bianca a little. After dinner I have to use the washroom, Bianca and Kami come with me, and of course the girl's washroom is packed. We wait our turn and I'm the first one out, I'm not waiting for the other girls with the washroom so full, so I leave. I push my way through the swarm of girls, exit the washroom and nearly run into Eli.

"Clare, we need to talk," he says in a pleading voice.

"After you're attack I have nothing to say to you Eli, I don't ever want to speak to you again," I hiss at him.

"Clare, wait please I w…"

"Back the hell off Dr. Doom, she doesn't want to talk to you," Bianca growls shoving him away. She takes my hand and starts pulling me to the dance floor with Kami following behind. "Let's dance, the boys will come find us," Bianca says.

We find a spot to dance, the three of us dancing to a fast song, we dance through another and then a slow song comes on. As soon as the slow romantic music starts our dates find us. Owen and I dance through two slow songs together, his hands on my waist and my arms around his neck.

"Let's go get our prom pictures taken," Owen says when the music changes to fast again.

"You don't think my mom took enough pictures of us?" I laugh.

"Yeah, but we need the corny background, the cliched poses. Something we can hang onto, look back at twenty years from now and cringe," Owen says.

"When you put it that way, let's go," I giggle.

Owen puts his arm my shoulders and we get in line for pictures, we take two different poses. One with my back against Owen's chest, his arms around me and my arms on his arms. Then me facing him, his arms around my waist, mine around his neck and leaning in like we're about to kiss.

"Let's return to the table, I believe it's time for dessert," Owen says when we leave the picture area.

"Sounds g…" I begin before Fiona taps the mic on stage causing feedback and cutting me off.

"It's time for prom queen and king," Fiona says now that everyone else is silent. "Your prom king Elijah Goldsworthy, and your prom queen Clare Edwards!"

"What?!" I exclaim while people begin clapping.

"Come on Clare, let's go get our crowns," Eli insists eagerly as he pulls me away from Owen.

I go with Eli mostly out of shock, everyone moves aside for us and we go on stage. Fiona puts a tiara on my head, and a large crown on Eli. People clap, our picture gets taken, and I'm given a sash that says prom queen.

"Now, our happy royal couple will take their spotlight dance," Fiona announces. Slow music starts and Eli escorts me off stage, his arms encircle me and we begin swaying to the music.

"I can't believe so many people voted for us, especially after our breakup. I didn't even know we were on the ballot," I comment now that I'm finally over the shock.

"We were on the ballot, but I don't know how many people voted for us. I asked Fiona to name us king and queen, so that you'd have to talk to me," Eli confesses and I stop dancing.

"More lies, more deception, after what you did I never want to talk to you again Eli," I snarl pushing him away from me.

"CLARE," Eli calls after me. He's trying to chase me but I'm better at weaving through a crowd.

"Clare, what's wrong?" Drew asks. He's with Bianca, they must have been dancing or getting punch.

"Here, pretty sure this should have been yours," I tell Bianca handing her the tiara. Then I run past them and out of the ballroom.

 **Last chapter is up now.**


	9. Praying to God You Give Me One More Chan

**Hope everyone is doing well, staying healthy and not going stir crazy right now.**

 **Ch. 9 Praying to God You Give Me One More Chance**

 **(OWEN)**

Clare and Eli are having their spotlight dance when she suddenly wrenches away from him. She starts making her way through the crowd, snaking her way around people. Eli tries to follow her, but the crowd is stopping him or he's just not as good as making his way through. Drew and Bianca stop Clare for just a moment as I begin forcing my way through the crowd. She hands Bianca her crown and runs out of the ballroom. Using my football and hockey moves I easily make my way through the crowd. I run through the lobby and catch up to Clare just as she runs out the doors of the hotel.

"Clare, wait, what's wrong? What did Eli do?"

"I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to see him. I just want to go, to be away from here, away from him."

"Here, have the valet bring my car, I'll go in and get my coat and your purse, we can go anywhere you want," I tell her handing her the valet ticket.

"Thanks Owen," she smiles. "Here give this to Bianca, or whoever was really elected prom queen," Clare says taking off her sash and handing it to me.

I take it and go back into prom, to our table grabbing my coat, her little purse is in the pocket of my coat. I leave the sash on Bianca's chair, they'll figure out that we left. When I get back to the valet area Clare is waiting in the passenger seat of my car. I tip the valet and get into the driver's side.

"Any destination in mind? Or should I just pick a direction and drive?" I ask her as I begin driving.

"Just drive," she says.

I start driving, it's very silent in the car and she's looking out the window. I'm trying to think of somewhere we can go, I'm sure she doesn't want to go home. I'm also sure she doesn't want to go to The Dot or anywhere else with people. Then I remember High Park and Grenadier Pond. It's not too far and there's a dirt access road that will take us to the pond. A quiet place we can sit and watch the water, no one to bother us. On the way over I go through a fast food drive-thru, I get her a chocolate milkshake and get myself strawberry.

"Where are we?" Clare asks when I pull up next to the water.

"Grenadier Pond," I tell her as she takes her fist sip of her milkshake. She's been so trapped in her head this whole time, I wasn't even sure she knew I'd gotten the milkshakes.

"I'm sorry, you paid for prom tickets and we weren't there very long."

"That's okay, we ate, got our pictures taken, I got to dance with one of the prettiest girls in school. I think I got my money's worth, you were even crowned prom queen."

"But, I shouldn't have been. They didn't even look at the votes, Eli had Fiona name us king and queen just to talk to me. After what he did, tried to do, I don't want to talk to him. I don't even want to see him again. He was going to attack me that day, he did attack me. He would have raped me if Adam and Dave hadn't come, I couldn't breathe, I passed out. He may have even killed me. After all that, Eli still thought I would talk to him. Maybe one day I can forgive him, but I'm not ready yet."

"You don't have to talk to Eli, not until you're ready, if you ever are ready. After tonight the last time you'll probably see him is the graduation ceremony in a couple of weeks. Unless he starts stalking you, if he does then you call me and I'll kill him."

"That's sweet, but if Eli starts stalking me my mom will have him thrown in jail. She's already taking every legal action out there against him. I know you wouldn't have asked me to prom without Drew's influence, but I'm glad you did. Up until Eli's deception I was having a good time."

"Yeah, me too. So, about this guy Drew is so worried about, he says it's not Eli."

"It's not Eli."

"But, you're letting some guy sneak in and take advantage of you."

"It's not that simple or that black and white. It's someone I know, well enough to trust him. Drew is making it sound worse than it is. The guy is not an angel, but he can be very sweet and tender when he wants to be."

"Drew says he raped you," I comment taking the last sip of my milkshake.

"He didn't exactly, I mean it wasn't exactly forceful rape. He didn't really let me say no, b…"

"Which I call rape," I comment.

"Yes, I know. He does stop when I tell him to, and that night was fueled by a lot of things. I'm not saying it was right, but it's not as clear cut is Drew is making it out to be. We've been there for each other, he needs me, I do believe he cares about me. He has been caring, tender, even nurturing, but when he's been hurt he gets amorous and a little aggressive. I know it doesn't make any sense and logically I'm more intelligent than this, but I don't know any other kind of relationship. Other than Adam all the men in my life have either hurt me, come into my life when it's convenient for them, or are conniving and use me. I know this boy isn't great for me, that I should tell him to never come near me again, I just can't do it. I do care about him, and the first time he kissed me there was passion, desire, it was electric. As I said, he can be sweet and tender, he's not all bad, and it does feel good to be desired and needed the way he does me."

"Hey, I get it, I haven't exactly been the greatest guy myself. I definitely haven't been the best boyfriend in what few relationships I've had. The only girl I've ever loved, Anya, she and I were great together when were great, but a total disaster all around. She used me to get back at her parents, got high, danced with other guys, the few real dates we had did not go well. She even used me when Dr. Dreamy dissed her, and then I taunted her with the facerange posts. Not one of my finer moments. She used me to help her get in shape for the army, and our final date, was last year's prom which I'm pretty sure was a disaster for everyone. As much of a disaster as it was there was definite heat, desire and passion. I think it's what kept drawing us together."

"Yeah, that's what it's like with us, and even with Eli."

"Speaking of men that have hurt you, any word on Asher?"

"Trial start on June 19th, Jake and Glen leave on the 12th, cross country road trip to get Jake to UC Santa Cruz. They don't need to be there though, my mom will. Alli, Jenna and Adam, even Drew said they would be too. It's going to be terrible, a large part of me doesn't want to do it, but it's the only hope of getting any sort of justice."

"I don't leave until August, I can be there too, or at least be around if you need me."

"Thanks Owen, and thanks for tonight, for everything tonight. I couldn't have asked for a better prom date. I really did enjoy prom with you, and this, this was perfect, but I think I'm ready to go home now."

"Then home it is," I smile.

We talk a little on the drive to her house, mostly about summer plans. When I drop at her door she thanks me again and kisses my cheek. I wait until she's inside and drive home, my parents are asleep and Tris is at a friend's house. I change out of my suit and take a shower before going to bed. I sleep pretty well and wake up late Sunday morning. My parents are out and Tris is still at his friend's house. I don't feel like making breakfast, so I put on some clothes and deodorant and go to The Dot. I get some coffee and a couple donuts, sitting outside since it's a nice morning.

I'm just finishing my breakfast when I see Fitz emerging from the woods that border the ravine. The second I see him it's like getting hit in the head with a frying pan as the epiphany hits me. Clare's guy, the one she's inexplicably drawn to, the one that hurts her but needs her, cares about her and desires her, it's Fitz! It all makes perfect sense now, I feel like I should have put it together sooner. I wonder if Drew knows that it's Fitz or not? I toss my trash and walk across the street to confront him. I know that he cares about Clare, but he needs to start acting like it.

"Hey Fitz," I call running across the street.

"Oh, hey Owen."

"What the hell have you been doing with Clare?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. Sneaking in her window, sleeping there, taking advantage of her, raping her, h…"

"I didn't rape her," he interjects angrily clenching his fists.

"You didn't give her a chance to say no, that's rape Fitz. You wanted it and you never considered her. You're bad for her, and yet she still cares about you and still wants you. If you care about her at all you'd better show it. Be a man that deserves a girl like Clare, stop using her when it's convenient for you and be there for her. I know you can be good for her, I know those good qualities she sees in you, so start making those better. I know that you two could be great for each other, if you work at it. Don't you think Clare deserves a man in her life that takes care of her, nurtures her, loves her and takes care of her needs?"

"Of course she does, Clare deserves everything," Fitz says in a defensive tone.

"Then man up for her," I tell him and walk away. Fitz isn't the brightest, but I've known him for five years, and I know my words are sinking in. I know he'll do what's right.

 **(CLARE)**

"Hi Spin," I greet walking into The Dot. It's late Thursday afternoon, prom was last Saturday. It's been almost a full week of summer and the seniors graduation ceremony is next Saturday. Thankfully, I have not seen Eli since prom, I haven't even heard from him. I also haven't really seen Fitz, he's been at The Dot a few times working when I was there. He has not come to my room at all, and I can't exactly confront him at work. He's not just avoiding me away from work, but he'll barely look at me even when serving me in the café. I've been both worried and feeling a little rejected.

I've spent a lot of time at Adam's with the brothers and Bianca, and Dallas when he's home. Owen's been there a couple times too, he's surprisingly good company, and very good looking, but I'm not letting myself fall for him. I like Owen, but he's leaving in August, what kind of relationship could we have? We are becoming pretty good friends though, which is nice. As demented and horrible as it may be the only boy I want right now is Fitz.

"Hey Clare," Spin yawns.

"You look tired," I comment watching Spin lean heavily on the counter.

"I opened, Fitz should be on now. Alice has the flu and no one else is available until five. This is the second shift in a row that Fitz has missed, and his phone goes straight to voicemail. I'm pretty worried and as soon as I'm off shift I'm going to report him as missing to the cops. This isn't like him at all, even if he can't come in he's always called."

Spinner's words make my heart drop, knowing everything Fitz has been through the possibilities run through my mind. None of them good; did he go back home and get beat so bad he's in the hospital? Did he run into his stepbrother again? Did a fight get out of hand? Is he even still alive?

"Two shifts and you haven't heard from him at all?"

"Yeah, like I said I'm worried. Fitz isn't like this, not anymore anyway and every time he's been…" Spin pauses and looks at me choosing his next word carefully, "sick before and unable to come in he's always called. Hell, he's usually here when I think he should've stayed home."

"It's okay, I know about his home life," I say in a low voice and Spin nods. "Have you checked the ravine? His friends?"

"No one's seen him," Spin nods.

I feel like I can't breathe, like I'm drowning in this whirlpool of fear. Very rapidly images of Fitz lying beaten to death in a field, bleeding out near the ravine, stabbed in an alley, and beaten to the point of unconsciousness in his own home rush through my head. I feel like I might throw up or pass out, before I can do either some other kids come through the door. Spin asks if he can help them, and I run outside.

The air feels good, but I still feel sick. I don't know what Fitz's car looks like or where he keeps it. So, I go to the only place I can think of that Fitz might be. I run to the ravine, I've been here before, of course it's been a while. I didn't like it back then either, and now somehow it looks worse. Kids sit around the fire pit, the smell of beer and pot is heavy in the air. Kids are laughing, I can hear two of them having sex in the van. A few guys leer at me, but no sign of Fitz. He could be in the van I suppose, but instinct tells me he's not.

Leaving the ravine as quickly as I came I start walking, but I have no idea where to go, no car. It's very hot and I never did get a cold drink at The Dot. I feel lost, and panicked, realizing just how little I know about Fitz. I have no idea where to even begin looking, but I know someone that probably would. I sit in the shade and get my phone from my purse.

"Hey Clare," Owen answers his phone. He sounds a little out of breath.

"I need help looking for Fitz, I don't know where to look," I tell Owen in a slightly panicked tone.

"What do you mean you need help looking for him?" Owen questions.

"I was just at The Dot and Spin said Fitz missed his last two shifts in a row. He's tried calling and Fitz's phone goes straight to voicemail. He wouldn't just miss two shifts, not without calling in. I'm really worried Owen, I just know something is wrong."

"Okay, where are you now?"

"The school, I checked the ravine, but he wasn't there."

"Stay where you are, I'll be there in ten minutes."

I put my phone in my purse and lean back in the shade, closing my eyes. All I can see is Fitz hurt and broken somewhere, or dead, and the thought he might be dead chokes me. When I hear a car approaching I open my eyes and Owen parks next to me.

"Something must have happened Wednesday," Owen says getting out of his car. "I saw him working Tuesday when I went in, he would hardly look at me after I confronted him Sunday b…"

"What do you mean you confronted him Sunday?" I question.

"About sneaking into your room, I figured out it was him. That's not the point, I've seen him since then, and Fitz wouldn't just take off. I know he's gotten into the school a few times to shower, we can check there. It's not very likely though, teachers have been in there, if he were hurt or something in the school he probably would have been found."

"Let's check anyway, guess we should check everywhere around the school. Do you know where his house is?"

"Yeah, but I really hope he's not there. I'll call Officer Turner, he can go by Fitz's house," Owen tells me. He gets out his phone as we start walking towards the back of school. "Hi Officer Turner, could you go by Mark Fitzgerald's house for a welfare check? I don't think he's there, pretty sure he hasn't been sleeping at home in months, but he also hasn't been to work in two days," Owen says into the phone. I can hear Officer Turner talking, but not what he's saying. "Yeah, Clare and I are out looking for him, I'll call if I find him," Owen says and then he says "Uh-huh" a couple times before hanging up.

"What did Officer Turner say?"

"He'll go by Fitz's place, they have the address on file since Fitz has been arrested. He'll also talk to Spinner," Owen tells me. We're now at the back of school near a service door, one that is apparently broken as Owen is able to easily get it open. Owen holds the door open for me and we go in, and I follow Owen to the boy's locker room.

Fitz isn't there, we check a few more places within the school and then go back outside. Owen and I walk the entire school perimeter, checking the bleachers, and especially inside the tree line. Owen says he knows a few more places along the ravine to check, so I follow him as he starts walking. We're still walking along the ravine when Officer Turner calls back. Owen puts the phone on speaker, so we can both hear.

"Fitz wasn't at the house, Fitz's mom said she hasn't seen him in weeks, no one else was home. I spoke to Spinner Mason and he expressed his concern as well. He didn't know where to look though. I put out a be on the lookout for Fitz's car. Meanwhile I'll check hospitals, shelters, that sort of thing. If we find anything I'll call you back," Officer Turner informs us.

"Thanks Officer Turner," Owen says before hanging up and putting his phone back in his pocket.

"Hospitals? Shelters?" I squeak out.

"We'll find him Clare. Fitz has been through a lot and come through it all, he'll be okay. Come on let's keep going."

I nod and follow Owen, but every passing minute without sign of Fitz brings every terrible thought of every terrible possibility to my mind. The more time passes it's snuffing out my hope of finding Fitz alive and well. After over an hour searching up and down the ravine and no sign of Fitz we start walking back to the school. Owen is mumbling to himself about other places we could look, I'm thinking about all the things that might have happened to him and hoping he's even still alive. Just as the school comes into sight again Owen's phone rings.

"It's Officer Turner," he tells me pulling it from his pocket and putting it on speaker again. "Did you find him?"

"Yes, he's being taken to St. Michael's by ambulance. He was in his car, parked in an alley a couple blocks from his house."

"Will he be okay?" I question.

"He was beaten pretty bad, and he's had the injuries for a couple of days without medical attention. He was struggling to breathe when I found him, I'm honestly not sure," Officer Turner says and it truly frightens me how devoid of hope his voice sounds.

"We're almost back to my car, we'll head straight there," Owen says and hangs up the phone.

Before Owen even has his phone back in his pocket we take off running to get back to his car. I just keep thinking that Fitz has to be okay, he's got a future and he's got me. I don't know what we are to each other, how he feels about me, and things will need to change, but I do care about Fitz deeply and that won't change.

We're silent on the way to the hospital, Owen parks and we go into the emergency entrance. Officer Turner is here and so is Spinner, they both look at us when we come in. I see Spinner wondering why I'm here, why I'm so scared, but he doesn't say anything, not yet anyway.

"Any word?" I question.

"No, the doctors are still looking at him," Officer Turner says.

"It was his stepdad or stepbrother I'm sure of it," Owen growls.

"Easy Owen, we'll find out who hurt Fitz and he can press charges. I'd inform his family, but I don't think they care. Is there anyone else we should call?" Officer Turner asks.

"Bianca, Lucas, Johnny, they'd want to know. I'll go call them, you going to be alright for a few minutes Clare?" Owen asks and I nod.

"So," Spin ventures when I sit in the chair next to him, "when did you start caring so much about Fitz?"

"We've been…kind of seeing each other for a few weeks," I reply. I'm really not sure how else to put it without recounting the entire story and I don't want to do that.

"What does kind of seeing each other mean?"

"It means that's all you're getting from me just now," I respond just as Spinner's phone rings.

"That's Paige, I'll be right back," Spin tells me and gets up. Officer Turner is on his radio and I'm left with the terrible sounds of the emergency room until Spinner comes back. "Paige will be here as soon as she gets off work," he tells me sitting back down. He has the good sense not to ask me any other questions.

"Everyone's on their way, Drew and Adam included, you know they're going to have questions," Owen remarks sitting on the other side of me, "well except Drew."

"I still have questions," Spinner comments.

Spinner doesn't ask them right now and we sit there in relative silence for a few moments. Finally, a doctor comes over to speak to Officer Turner. They put their backs to us and speak in hushed voices, I'm absolutely terrified this means Fitz is dead or won't make it. After a moment the doctor rushes back down the hall and Officer Turner turns to us.

"Fitz has some internal injuries and internal bleeding, he's in emergency surgery now. If he gets through that he'll be okay, but they'll keep him here at least three days for observation. After that he'll need a place to rest for a week or so, a clean safe place. I can look into some safe house possibilities or…"

"No," Owen says cutting Officer Turner off, "no he'll stay with us. I've known Fitz for a long time, he can stay in my room, I know my family will agree. We don't have the biggest house and my parents have only met him a few times, but they'll agree."

"Okay, good, I have to get back to the station, but I'll be back later. I've asked the doctor to keep me informed."

"I'll put him on medical leave at work, his job will be waiting for him when he's better," Spinner speaks aloud, though mostly seems to be talking to himself.

A few moments after Officer Turner leaves Drew, Bianca and Adam come in. Before we can tell them what the doctor said Johnny and Lucas come in.

"Okay, start talking," Adam says to me after we've told them what the doctor said and everyone has taken it in.

Bianca and Adam have pieced some of it together, and Drew butts in a few times to add to the conversation. I tell them pretty much everything, including how I feel and why I can't just stop seeing Fitz or caring about him. Bianca understands and thinks I'll be a world of good for Fitz. Drew and Owen already gave their opinions, Spin just seems too shocked to say anything. Johnny and Lucas think Fitz and I would be great together, but like Owen do say that Fitz better pull himself together to be with me. Adam is very quiet, I am sure a great part of him believes I'm rebounding from Eli. Of course, he may be just waiting to see what happens, if my feelings stay the same now that it's all out in the open.

We're at the hospital for hours, Paige comes and Spinner fills her in. Some people get food from the vending machine or go to the cafeteria, but no one is all that hungry. Officer Turner comes back when his shift is over at seven. The longer it takes for the doctor or anyone to come talk to us the more I worry something went wrong. A little before eight a the same doctor finally comes out.

"The surgery is done, he'll be out for a while still and we he's being moved to ICU. He came through the surgeries and we stopped the internal bleeding. He was also pretty severely dehydrated so we're giving him IV fluids. He's young and strong, he should pull through just fine, but we'll still keep him here for 72 hours observation to be safe. Especially with the amount of scar tissue he had. Does he have a safe clean house to rest at when he leaves here?"

"Yeah, my house," Owen says.

"Good, and now I suggest you all go home. He won't wake up for at least an hour, and he'll be very groggy. You can come back in the morning, he'll be ready for visitors by then."

I don't really want to leave, but I don't think I have much of a choice. Drew offers to take me home, but Owen says he'll do it. We get in his car, and as exhausted as I am I'm not tired. I feel more frenetic, restless and I don't want to be home.

"I can't go home, I won't be able to sleep, can we go to the place you took me on prom night?"

"Yeah, of course, you'd better text Jake though, have him cover for you."

"What about you?" I ask as I get my phone out.

"No curfew," Owen shrugs, "I'll text when we park so they know I'm alive."

I text Jake to tell my mom I'm sleeping at Alli's and tell him I'll explain everything tomorrow. He says okay, but I better be safe wherever I really am. Owen parks in the same spot, sends a text to someone, and then we sit there watching the moon on the water. When the silence becomes too much I ask Owen how he met Fitz and he spends the next few hours telling me stories about him Bianca, Fitz, Johnny, Lucas and Bruce.

"Will you take me back to the hospital? I need to see him, to see for myself he's still alive. Ever since Turner told us he was being taken by ambulance I've had this sort of internal panic. I'm not sure it will go away until I see him."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, I'd like to see him for myself," Owen nods starting his car up again.

There's music playing in the car, but otherwise things are silent, and it seems like the drive to the hospital takes forever. We get to the hospital and go in through the emergency entrance as it's all that's open at this late hour. Then we have to convince the desk nurse to let us go to Fitz's room, but she finally allows us to go up.

We find Fitz's room easily enough, and I hold my breath as we go in. His heart monitor making a steady sort of music, I know he's alive. The sight of him takes all the breath from my body. Hooked up to wires and IVs is the least of it. His face is swollen, one eye so back it won't open, a bandage on part of his face, and more peeking out from his gown. He has oxygen in his nose, which means he needs the oxygen, but at least it's not a breathing tube.

"Fuck," Owen exhales under his breath, it was barely audible but Fitz's eyes still open.

He looks at Owen first, and then looks at me, "I'm sorry Clare." His voice is dry, choked and scratchy the words hardly make it past his lips.

"For what? You didn't do this to yourself," I reply as I fight back the tears.

"Not this," he says reaching his hand for me and I move forward taking his hand. He interlaces our fingers, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.

"What happened Fitz? You had us all worried, I'd say I need to keep a better eye on you but you'll be recouping at my house, so that shouldn't be a problem. I know my parents will agree and we'll be sharing a room, but you're recouping at my place."

"Thanks Owen, I appreciate it," Fitz says and stops to cough. "I went home, I needed some more clothes. My stepdad was there, drunk watching TV, he didn't see me at first," Fitz stops to cough again and Owen pours him some water from the pitcher at his bedside. Fitz takes a sip of water and continues. "I got some things stuffed in my backpack, but I was going so fast I didn't hear him coming up the stairs. When I left my room he was waiting for me, he accused me of stealing. I told him to go to hell, tried to move past him, get down the stairs and get out, but he pushed me."

I shut my eyes and cringe, a tear escaping from my eye as I picture Fitz being tossed down the stairs. I hear him hitting the bottom, I feel sick just thinking about it.

"Fucking bastard," Owen says.

"The wind was knocked out of me, I was dazed, and he came down the stairs. He kicked me in the face and I blacked out for a minute or so. I woke up when he kicked my stomach. He just kept kicking, I could barely cover my face, I thought he was going to kill me, guess he grew tired of it or thought I was dead. It was hard to breathe and I couldn't move, but I was more afraid to stay there. I managed to get up, sort of staggered my way to my car. I coughed up some blood, and got in my car. I remember lying down, pulling my jacket over me, and that's about it. I was pretty in and out of consciousness, slept a lot, couldn't even move to get my phone from my pocket, everything hurt too much."

"Oh, Mark," I breathe tears rushing down my cheeks. All I can think about is him having to stagger two blocks to car; alone, beaten, bloody. If his car hadn't been found he could have died there, it's a terrifying thought. Fitz takes several sips of water but squeezes my hand.

"If your stepdad isn't arrested this time I will gather the hockey team and go beat the living hell out of him myself. You could have died Fitz, I mean fuck it's been bad before, but I never thought he'd actually kill you. You're never going back to that house, you'll stay with us, you can take over my room after I leave for school."

"Hopefully, by then I'll have a place of my own," Fitz says to Owen before looking at me. "I know I haven't shown it Clare, not really, but I do love you. I am in love with you, and I have been for a very long time. I haven't been a man worthy of you or your love in return, but if you give me another chance I will prove that I can be. I love you with all my heart Clare."

I'm still crying and can't respond just now, but I lean over placing a soft kiss on Fitz's lips. His lips are very dry, parched and he winces slightly, but he responds to the kiss, an electricity passing between our lips with each breath because it's a kiss of true love.

 **I hope you enjoyed this short story. Replacing this is** _ **"Passion at First Sight"**_ **a Slare forbidden romance crackship story.**


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